Care-Givers Need Care Too

May is the month we pay tribute to mom – and often treat her with a bouquet of flowers. This Mother’s Day, you may want to consider giving mom a break, especially if she is one of the millions of women who are caregivers.

We all know men who pitch in with care-giving duties. But research indicates that 75 percent of caregivers in the United States are female – and many of these women are holding down jobs outside the home, while tending to the needs of children and an older relative. Thank goodness they do. Their volunteer, unpaid caregiving is valued at between $148 billion and $188 billion a year, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance. That’s a lot of help!

Women also live longer than men in our country, which means many will need care after a lifetime of providing it to others. In future columns, I’ll offer some concrete advice on how to decide if your loved one needs assistance and what types of caregiving are available. But today, in honor of all those hard-working moms I’d like to draw attention to an equally important, less-noticed concern: the health of the caregivers.

Study after study tells us that the people delivering care often don’t take care of themselves. Caregivers are less likely to eat a balanced diet, exercise, visit their own doctor and even fill their own prescriptions. In some cases, financial pressures cause caregivers to cut back on essentials. But more often, they are simply too busy and too tired to focus on themselves.

It’s easy to understand why: Suddenly you are responsible for the financial, physical and emotional well-being of your loved one. Caregivers are at increased risk for injuries from lifting patients. I also see caregivers whose immune systems are weakened, making them more susceptible to illness. People who are caring for a family member tend to have higher hospitalization rates and slower healing rates.

They are also more prone to suffer emotional problems such as depression. Caregivers may experience frustration that they have lost the vibrant, fulfilling life they once had with a spouse. Others may feel guilty that they remain healthy, while their loved one is suffering. It is common for many caregivers to have trouble concentrating at work, to abuse alcohol or drugs or withdraw from social activities. It may sound obvious, but you can’t take care of a loved one if you aren’t healthy yourself.

Whether you are a caregiver yourself, a friend of one or a relative, be on the lookout for signs of caregiver stress. These can include fatigue or difficulty sleeping, musculoskeletal injuries, chronic pain, a short temper or weight fluctuations. Some of the most important steps to take are also the simplest: Get plenty of rest,

eat properly and exercise, even if it is just a walk around the block or making a few extra trips up and down the stairs at home.

For many of us, our faith or support groups play a critical role in assisting caregivers. AARP and groups such as the Alzheimer’s Association have informative websites and local chapters. Check them out.

Most importantly, caregivers need breaks. Play a round of golf, go to the movies, visit a spa or just find a quiet place to meditate. Be sure other family members and friends are pitching in, even if it’s just for an hour. Adult day care and respite care are other options. And don’t forget to laugh. A good chuckle now and then—even just finding amusement in life’s daily hassles—is some of the best medicine around.

So before you order another bunch of flowers, consider giving Mom a caregiving break.

Related Links:

About Dr. John Whyte

Visit the Discovery Health Stress Management Center for more help.

Comments

[Linda]

This is all so true. I just experienced this syndrome after only 8 months of primary caregiving. In the end, I was depressed, 15 pounds heavier, and have had lots of muscle problems from all of the sitting and lifting. We need to find a way to make sure that the doctor's treating the infirm watch the caregivers over time and provide them some useful information about keeping themselves healthy.

[Sandi]

I applaud this article! Being a member of a wonderful group called Stroke Survivors Advocacy Network, I hear many stories about the stress of caregiving. It is true that many have very little time for themselves and the stress level can be very overwhelming. Friends and family of caregivers should watch for signs of stress and help out when they can.
And caregivers should know that you simply cannot do it all and need an occasional break even if it's just an hour.
You don't want to get to the point where you need a caregiver yourself!
Wouldn't a special Caregiver's Day/Holiday be wonderful?
Perhaps Friends or Family of a caregiver can dedicate a special day just for them!!
Thanks again,
Sandi