From Sour Notes to Sweet Fashion Music

08/28/2009

Teresa is a classically trained cellist living in the Bronx, N.Y., who doesn’t seem to care how she dresses. Her friend, Renee, hopes Teresa sees her being picked for the What Not to Wear makeover as a gift and not an insult.

I start laughing at Clinton’s, “Someone’s wardrobe is hitting a really sour fashion note,” as Stacy and Clinton ambush Teresa during her concert. Teresa looks mortified, as I would be, if I had all of Grand Central Station in New York City clapping over being singled out for my bad fashion sense. Did she just say, “I wish I was wearing a bra,” to Stacy and Clinton?

Teresa says she’s always been a lazy dresser, and she’s looking forward to Clinton and Stacy’s help. As they watch the secret footage, Clinton summarizes all that is wrong with America as “the elastic waistband on pants.” Who knew? I would’ve guessed 20 other things, including muffin tops and anyone over the age of 12 wearing a ruffle skirt.

Teresa tears up when Stacy asks her the last time she felt pretty. She’s always thought she was ugly due to her brother’s teasing when they were young. Stacy and Clinton tell her they see a pretty woman dressing horribly, and that by dressing better, she will gain self-confidence.

To be fair, Teresa’s first outfit in the 360-degree mirror isn’t hideous, but I’m astounded she would wear it without a bra to go teach a class. Stacy and Clinton explain that a bra will lift the girls so as to show more of her torso. This will allow her to accentuate her waist, which looks better. I really like the color palette on the first mannequin they show her; the green croc bag is unexpected with the cream and brown.

The second outfit Teresa tries on makes Stacy say, “You look like Archie Bunker in drag.” I’m not exaggerating when I say her last 360-degree outfit made me recoil like I was in a horror movie. Or as Stacy put it, “This dress sucks.” Teresa really likes it, though, so Stacy and Clinton ask her what about it she likes. They then explain why those reasons are wrong for her body type. I’ve really liked the three mannequins they’ve shown her. I think my favorite is the black beaded dress, and I don’t even like wearing black.

How to Wear a Leather Jacket

It's fall shopping time, and Stacy London and Clinton Kelly have tips on how you can wear a leather jacket at any age.

See more style tips from Stacy and Clinton of TLC's What Not To Wear.

From Romper Room to Va-Va-Voom

08/21/2009

In this episode we meet Disa, a 46-year-old mother of four and pediatric care coordinator. Disa’s style issue? She literally dresses like a child, because she doesn’t want to grow up. Her kids and her mother complain that she dresses too young and have called Stacy and Clinton for help.

Her name may mean goddess, but as Stacy points out, “You ain’t dressing like one.”  During the ambush, Stacy and Clinton point out a 9-year-old who is wearing the same exact outfit as Disa. While the 9-year-old is adorable, the 46-year-old isn’t, according to them. I don’t get the impression that Disa is enthusiastic about participating. (Side note: I’d be pissed if I had to stop my amusement park fun to go watch secret footage.)

Disa works with kids and has a lot of kids, so in her mind, she’s just a “big kid at heart.” That does NOT explain or excuse the birthday-cake hat (?!) she wears all day on her birthday, even if it’s a workday. Disa tells Stacy and Clinton people shouldn’t judge her by her clothes. They counter that adults can be pretty judgmental. You tell her, guys.

Both of her daughters tell her it’s hard for them to take her seriously, because she dresses younger than them. Disa seems very reluctant to “grow up,” even as she acknowledges that her family wants her too.Hello, you are 46!

LOL at the look on Stacy’s and Clinton’s faces when they see Disa for the first time in New York City. Clinton greets her with, “You look insane.” Stacy says, “We don’t allow clowns here,” as she takes the birthday-cake hat off Disa’s head.

How to Find the Perfect Pair of Jeans

How do you find the right jeans for your body type? Stacy London and Clinton Kelly answer the most common question they get, once and for all.

See more style tips from Stacy and Clinton of TLC's What Not To Wear.

Getting Back on the Fashion Fast Track

08/14/2009

Lisa is a 33-year-old mother of four kids and a former drag racer from Denver. Her current style consists of T-shirts, jeans and oversized hoodies. Will Clinton and Stacy be able to tune up her wardrobe? I think we all know the answer to that question.

Her family tells Stacy and Clinton that Lisa has always been a tomboy. One of her daughters thinks it would be awkward for them to see her in a dress or skirt, because they aren’t used to it. Lisa’s boss, John, would like to see her dressing professionally, since she works with new hires and is their first impression of the company.

When Stacy and Clinton show up at the racetrack to surprise Lisa, she seems a bit hesitant at first, but then warms up to the idea.

While watching the secret footage, Clinton wonders if a memo is sent out to all American mothers mandating they wear cross-trainers, mom jeans, an oversized T-shirt and oversized hoodie. The footage also has John, Lisa’s boss, saying that the way she dresses is probably holding her back at the company. Lisa admits that makes her feel like crap, but doesn’t know how to get out of her rut.

The first outfit Lisa models for the 360-degree mirror is an oversized pink hoodie and jeans, which make her feel “safe and invisible.” According to Clinton and Stacy, it is having the opposite effect and making her appear larger, too.

The teal printed-leaf jersey dress they show her on the first mannequin is an easy way of dressing up with no fuss. All you have to do is pull the dress over your head and cinch the belt. Lisa is a bit scared the belt will call attention to her stomach, but Clinton tells her the best way to wear a belt is to put it above the widest part of you. This creates an hourglass illusion.

Lisa’s work outfit looks like something I’d wear on a rainy day to go buy groceries minus the fugly shoes. Buying toilet paper is no excuse to wear ugly shoes in my opinion. Lisa confesses to never feeling pretty in a dress. “I’ve never felt good about the way I look or my body. I’ve always had body issues.” She is coming across as the sanest and nicest person with body issues I’ve ever seen on TV.

As Stacy and Clinton throw out her wardrobe, Lisa says she’s used to only seeing herself as a mom and wife and not knowing who she is anymore. She’s lost that “bad-ass” drag racer she once was, but really wants to find her again.

Lisa’s Rules: A-line dresses and skirts, which emphasize the area right below her rib cage. Nothing oversized.

During the first day of shopping, Lisa tries on a pair of pants, which she admits look like “something out of an ‘80s movie.” LOL at Clinton saying, “When you have sheen and don’t have fit, you have a disaster. That’s disaster crotch.”

I’m pleasantly surprised by Lisa’s shoe choices, although I’ve never considered a ballet flat to be a “bad-ass” pick.

On the second day of shopping, Clinton and Stacy show Lisa how to mix some elements of “bad-ass” into her wardrobe so that she can have her personality shine through, and be comfortable and professional. They have her go put together some accessories by herself so that she can get the hang of it.

I understand Stacy and Clinton’s rationale for vetoing the shoes she picked out for the dress, but I can’t help LOVING them anyway. Hmm, I think Lisa just needed some time alone and a little guidance, because anyone who picks shoes like these HAS style.

Lisa is fast becoming one of my favorite makeovers. She is so open to the experience and is really embracing the advice Stacy and Clinton are giving her. I absolutely love that her goal is to have Stacy look at her and exclaim, Shut the front door!”

For the hair makeover, Ted dyes her hair a lighter shade of blonde and cuts some layers to give it some movement. Lisa absolutely loves her hair; she thinks it looks awesome and can’t stop running her hands through it.

When it’s time for the makeup, Lisa tells Carmindy that although she wears makeup, her eye shadow always makes her eyes look blah. After Carmindy is finished, Lisa’s eyes finally have the pop and pizazz she’s been trying to achieve. Lisa feels her spirit and sense of self have gone through a renewal during the week.

For her reveal, Lisa gets her wish with a “Shut the front door and the back door,” from Stacy. Clinton and Stacy tell her she looks like she’s lost 20 pounds and 15 years. Lisa tells them she feels sexy, confident and bad-ass.

I love her work outfit. The blue-and-white silk patterned blouse is so elegant paired with the skirt. She looks amazing.

Her final reveal to Stacy and Clinton is a pretty purple dress with an asymmetrical belt. Must. Buy. Those. Shoes.

OK, I admit to tearing up when her family and friends saw her for the first time. Everyone looked so happy and shocked and she looked adorable. I’m happy that Lisa really enjoyed her experience and is letting her “bad-ass” self out.

Total Haul:

$5,000 got Lisa 35 outfits. These included: 10 pairs of shoes, 23 new tops to mix and match, and four structured jackets.

Get Lisa's shopping list and all the details from her makeover in the Episode Guide.

Is this makeover a win? Tell us what you thought.

Worst Dressed American

From the Editors:

Attention Ladies: For the first time ever, in celebration of its 250th episode, What Not to Wear is doing a national search for The Worst Dressed American. Nominate yourself or secretly nominate a friend, and you or she could appear on the 250th episode of the show and get the royal treatment compliments of Stacy and Clinton!

This contest is open to WOMEN only.

Apply Now!

Fighting Her Way From Fashion Disaster to Fashionably Fabulous

08/07/2009

Clinton and Stacy come to the aid of fashion disaster victim Lexa, a 30-year-old Red Cross employee from Denver. According to Stacy, she’s a 10.0 on the Richter scale of horrific style.Her Lolita outfits prompted her supervisor, Jessica, to have several talks with Lexa on what’s appropriate attire for the office.

 

Lexa is surprised by our experts during a training session for emergency first responders. Honestly, if someone ambushed me with a camera crew and pointed me out as a disaster, I would not handle it well, so kudos to her for being gracious.

I can tell it’s going to be a contentious show within just five minutes of watching, when Lexa says the hardest thing for her will be having others’ attitudes presented to her in a way she doesn’t like. She insists she does have a style, and if they don’t like it, they can go fly a kite. Two things immediately spring to mind: 1) Just because you have a “style” doesn’t mean it’s the right one for you or that it even is a true style. Remember, your friends and co-workers nominated you for the show. 2) This is going to be good TV! Let me get my bowl of popcorn ready.

A Grunge Rocker Becomes a Multiplatinum Queen

07/31/2009

Continuing to rack up frequent-flier miles, Clinton and Stacy go to Denver to bring some glamour to 32-year-old Bailey. Bailey is an alt-rock DJ who is still rocking the grunge look even though it’s 2009. She’s recently lost 60 pounds and is hiding behind her untamed hair and plus-sized wardrobe.

Luscious London and Kamikaze Kelly talk to Bailey’s friends and co-workers to find out why they nominated her. Issa, Bailey’s co-host and nominator answers, “Hello, did you see her?” Issa says Bailey also deserves it, since her weight loss has left her with a closet full of clothes she can’t wear. Another co-worker adds, “We play Nirvana on our radio station; you don’t have to look like Nirvana.” Ouch.

Clinton and Stacy call into the radio show as part of the ambush. The show is dedicated to weight loss and fashion tips, so Bailey doesn’t suspect a thing at first. Clinton’s radio advice is simple, get rid of “fat clothes” after a big weight loss, since baggy clothes can make the wearer look dumpy.

Bailey takes the ambush pretty well. I LOL at Clinton telling her, “Just wearing a scrunchy gets you on our show.” She’s not thrilled that now everyone in the city knows she can’t dress. She puts her lack of style on working in radio; since no one sees her, who cares?

A Renaissance Wench Turned Modern-Day Beauty

07/24/2009

Ariel, a 26-year-old kissing wench at the Renaissance Fair, is more comfortable in the 13th century than the 21st. Will Stacy and Clinton be able to joust her out of her costumes? Did King Henry the VIII cut Anne Boleyn's head off?

Ariel's ambush is the funniest so far of the season. When Clinton and Stacy first show up at the fair, you can tell Ariel is wondering which poor soul is going to be singled out and thinking, “Thank goodness, it's not me they are talking about.” Oh wait...it is.

She gets a bit teary before accepting the challenge because, “There are certain things I think you guys will make me get rid of that I don’t want to.” Hmm, I know it's against the rules, but you could leave those things home if you're really worried.

When they sit down to watch the secret footage, Clinton seems a bit uncomfortable with Ariel's boobage in her renaissance wench costume. He cracks me up when he says, “If we get you green pants, you could be a big asparagus.” Ariel admits to hiding behind her costumes, since she’s not sure how to express herself as an individual in regular clothing.

Going from Hoochie Mama to Sophisticated Lady

07/17/2009

Clinton and Stacy continue their Southern-style intervention with Tamara, a 29-year-old single mom from Atlanta. Tamara’s style veers from totally unflattering and clingy at work to skintight and almost uncovered at night. According to Clinton, “Her style is so bad during the day, they cancelled Casual Fridays at her office.”

Her friends and family all agree that they never know what she is going to wear next. “She has a very interesting and unique style of fashion,” says her friend and WNTW nominator Tye. “She’s been passed over for promotions and hasn’t met the ideal guy either.”

Tamara takes the ambush really well. She doesn’t hesitate for a second on having to hand over her wardrobe, but does on following the rules. Hmm, I think there’s going to be conflict.

Watching the secret footage, Tamara seems a little shocked at how she looks, especially in the shorts. The tear-drop dress is NOT flattering, and Stacy and Clinton tell her it’s inappropriate. Clinton asks her whether 14 years from now; she’d be OK with her daughter dressing like that. Tamara replies that her daughter wouldn’t because at 4 years old she tries to cover Mommy up. “She’s conservative. Mommy is not,” she says. “Out of the mouths of babes” is all I think.