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Secret Princes Recap: Ladies, Lorenzo, and The Lone Star State

10/28/2013

It's time for round two of Secret Princes, our favorite show about the trials and travails of a bunch of royal guys looking for love — in all the wrong places. This season, the guys travel to Austin, Texas, on the hunt for "princesses" who will love them for who they are. Let's meet our princes, ladies!

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We have: 

 

  • Prince Alexander of Russia, He's 34 years old and a direct descendent of the House of Romanov. Has a career as a photographer and lives in Kent, England.
  • Prince Lorenzo de Medici of Italy. He's 37 and an heir to the famous House of Medici.
  • Lord James Rennell of Rodd, 34, and the 4th Baron Rennell. He works for an event planning company. 
  • And finally, the Honourable Oliver Plunkett of Dunsany, 28.

 

Prince Alexander's mom is not excited about this adventure. Princess Olga, who lives in Kent, UK, is a little skeptical of her son's plan. She's not interested in a girl from Texas. "Oh, I think they'll be down to Earth. Very down to Earth."

Did we mention she's wearing an incredible pin of dachshund on her vest?

Dachshund-pin

Oliver Plunkett wants a girl who's smart, beautiful, and a "wonderful southern cook," though what a guy from Meath County, Ireland, knows about southern cooking is anyone's guess.

Oliver is kind of a nerd, from the looks of it. He likes video games, and spends a lot of times with his dog Commander Chow. That's kind of cute (and sad). But cute. "I don't think I've ever been in love," he said. Well, that's gotta change.

Lord James Rennell of Rodd is next to arrive at the house in Austin. Lord James is third to arrive in Texas but the first really, ridiculously hot one. His type? Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel, Megan Fox. He wants a girl who is "her own person, but also head over heels in love with him, as well."

Our final arrival is Prince Lorenzo de Medici. And he is … amazing. I love his outfits. He has a maid, a driver, a tailor, a cook, "but there's only one thing that's missing -- love."

But one thing he's not missing: confidence. "It's very difficult to resist my charm."

With an ego like that, you didn't think he'd be happy with getting the last and smallest room in the house, did you? Of course not. After a brief dispute over whose family has the most rank, everyone decides to keep the rooms they have.

Then it's time to decide on their fake American names and a cover story. They get dressed up "American style," but go waaaaay overboard, dressing like a band of wacky tourists from an '80s movie. What young guy wears a fanny pack?

Bad-idea

That didn't stop Oliver from getting really, really drunk, taking off his pants and riding a mechanical bull.

The next day, the boys try and buy some new clothes, but they forget that they actually have no money, so they're forced to go thrift store shopping. Prince Lorenzo is not feeling it. "I can't get used to it that I don't have money," said Lorenzo. When he doesn't have enough money to buy everything he wants, a nice guy at the thrift store gives him three extra dollars. "American people are the most generous people in the world."

They realize they MUST get some jobs. "This is gonna suck ass," says Prince Alexander, who is suddenly realizing being in the real world is actually hard work. He's been working at a car wash for three minutes and he already screwing it up by flirting with the female customers. Lorenzo, too. He claims he is unable to wear the tomato costume required of him by the sandwich shop he's working at because it won't fit over his legs. These guys!

Pants


They try and redeem their first few days in Texas by playing a game of kickball - and strike out both on the field, and with the women on their kickball team. Finding love is going to be harder than these guys thought.

Questions for next week:
Will Lorenzo find a pair of tights that fit him?
How badly are they going to screw up each other's fake names? 
Will they finally break down and clean their disgusting house?  

Don't miss more Secret Princes, Fridays at 10/9 c. 

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