When my three oldest were little and I was a young mom, I was able to stay at home with my children. As I was growing up I watched my mother care for other people’s kids and do anything else that she could just so she could stay at home with her kids and not have to leave them to go to work. I did whatever I could to do the same thing when I became a mother because I felt like it was important and it was all I knew. Any mom who has ever been able stay at home with her kids knows how much work it is, how much it can be underappreciated but also that it is the best job in the world. I remember more than once feeling like I wanted to pull out my hair but I was so grateful I could be at home with my children then. I loved it.
Things all changed when I became a single mother and had to go to work to support my children and myself. At first it was very hard leaving my children, but it was what I needed to do. I worked at a long-term care facility and hired family to help me with my kids. When I married Kody I continued to work to support myself and to help with the family’s needs but my kids were all in school by then so it turned out to be okay. When I got pregnant with my son, Solomon, I was so stressed out about the idea of having to leave my new baby while I worked. When he was born I was pleasantly surprised when my six-week maternity leave was up that I was excited to go back to work!
During this last year I have taken on the big project of spearheading one of our family’s businesses. It has been an adventure. I have felt challenged and excited as I work to build our business. I am very passionate about what we are doing and I have learned so much. I didn’t realize just how passionate until a few months ago when several of my female cousins and my sisters all got together for a girls weekend. I found myself wanting to talk business and numbers instead of recipes and home life. I was so surprised at myself. It has made me realize that in the past I didn’t know what my full potential was and that I really like creating and working outside my home. I also found that I am okay being away from my kids sometimes while I pursue that work. I come back to them refreshed and ready to enjoy being a mom.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I LOVE my kids and I would love to be able to be home with them all the time, but I have also realized that I have a independent, working-woman side to myself separate from my home life and children -- and I like her! I like being an entrepreneur. I love challenging myself with a project or a business problem and being delighted when I figure it out and accomplish it. I have realized how capable I am.
I think as women we really give a lot to our children, our husbands and our home life and we don’t always take the time to build on the other parts to ourselves that are there inside us. We don’t always find our hidden talents or what we are passionate about outside the role as a mother, wife or keeper of the home. While I value these roles immensely, I have also come to value the other sides to myself as they bloom. It has been a very eye-opening and empowering experience for me and I am looking forward to what the future brings.