Robyn Brown's Posts

Robyn Brown: Finding Hidden Talents

06/10/2013

Sister-wives-robyn-blog-04Robyn Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's fourth wife. Follow along as she shares her perspective on the intriguing world of a sister wife.

When my three oldest were little and I was a young mom, I was able to stay at home with my children. As I was growing up I watched my mother care for other people’s kids and do anything else that she could just so she could stay at home with her kids and not have to leave them to go to work.  I did whatever I could to do the same thing when I became a mother because I felt like it was important and it was all I knew. Any mom who has ever been able stay at home with her kids knows how much work it is, how much it can be underappreciated but also that it is the best job in the world. I remember more than once feeling like I wanted to pull out my hair but I was so grateful I could be at home with my children then. I loved it.

Things all changed when I became a single mother and had to go to work to support my children and myself. At first it was very hard leaving my children, but it was what I needed to do. I worked at a long-term care facility and hired family to help me with my kids. When I married Kody I continued to work to support myself and to help with the family’s needs but my kids were all in school by then so it turned out to be okay. When I got pregnant with my son, Solomon, I was so stressed out about the idea of having to leave my new baby while I worked. When he was born I was pleasantly surprised when my six-week maternity leave was up that I was excited to go back to work! 

During this last year I have taken on the big project of spearheading one of our family’s businesses. It has been an adventure. I have felt challenged and excited as I work to build our business. I am very passionate about what we are doing and I have learned so much. I didn’t realize just how passionate until a few months ago when several of my female cousins and my sisters all got together for a girls weekend. I found myself wanting to talk business and numbers instead of recipes and home life. I was so surprised at myself. It has made me realize that in the past I didn’t know what my full potential was and that I really like creating and working outside my home. I also found that I am okay being away from my kids sometimes while I pursue that work. I come back to them refreshed and ready to enjoy being a mom.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I LOVE my kids and I would love to be able to be home with them all the time, but I have also realized that I have a independent, working-woman side to myself separate from my home life and children -- and I like her!  I like being an entrepreneur. I love challenging myself with a project or a business problem and being delighted when I figure it out and accomplish it. I have realized how capable I am.  

I think as women we really give a lot to our children, our husbands and our home life and we don’t always take the time to build on the other parts to ourselves that are there inside us. We don’t always find our hidden talents or what we are passionate about outside the role as a mother, wife or keeper of the home. While I value these roles immensely, I have also come to value the other sides to myself as they bloom. It has been a very eye-opening and empowering experience for me and I am looking forward to what the future brings.

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Robyn Brown: My Body is Mine

04/29/2013

Sister-wives-robyn-blog-11Robyn Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's fourth wife. Follow along as she shares her perspective on the intriguing world of a sister wife.

People often tell me that I am lucky because I don't struggle with my weight. I don't know what to say to them because I feel like weight is only one part of a person’s health and body image. All my life most of my family has struggled with weight and health issues. Obesity actually runs in my family. I am very sensitive to people who struggle with these issues because I watched my family members go through so much heartbreak over them.

I think sometimes people assume that if you aren't overweight then your health is automatically good and you have it made. That isn't necessarily true. Let me explain. I don't enjoy food. I get grossed out regularly by it. I have to remind myself to eat or I will all of a sudden start falling apart. My hunger alerts are broken. I also have a tendency to be hypoglycemic and no matter what, I am anemic. I have not felt in control of my body most of my life. It hasn't been easy for me.

With the goal to take better care of our bodies this year, my sister wife Meri and I decided to take a yoga class. When my instructor did an assessment of me, she looked me up and down and said I needed a year of yoga to be healthy again and that my body was not happy. I felt like I had failed a test.

As I started showing up to the class I became more aware of what she was talking about. There were people in the same class who were older than me that were more flexible and weren't winded by the workout!

One morning while I was doing a Sleeping Tiger yoga pose (laying on my back with my arms and legs sticking straight up in the air), my instructor decided that we were going to hold the pose for a while. Uh yea...for a long while! My legs and arms starting burning and falling down. I couldn't do it, so I started cheating. When she wasn't looking I would drop my arms and legs for a frantic minute to get some relief. Suddenly, she walked towards me, plopped herself down right next to me and smacked my legs and arms into the right position. I almost laughed out loud. I had been caught and she was going to make sure I did it right.

She started calmly repeating "I am not my body. MY BODY IS MINE." I lay there struggling to keep my arms and legs in the air as she continued to prohibit me from cheating, and I began to mull over the words she was saying. If I wasn't my body and my body was mine then I should be in control -- I just had to decide to take the wheel back. It was such an amazing thought! I started telling my legs and arms they were mine. I stopped listening to them complain about how they hurt and were tired. I told them I was in charge and that this little test would be over soon, but I would say when. It became mind over matter and I felt very calm and strong! I felt in charge of my body for first time in a long time and that felt good. I left the class excited and invigorated. I am looking forward to gaining back the control over my body and really taking care of it, because it is mine!

 

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Robyn Brown: Open Letter to a Monogamous Beautician

04/12/2013

Robyn Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's fourth wife. Follow along as she shares her perspective on the intriguing world of a sister wife.

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I have always been the kind of person who liked to make sure the people around me understood where I was coming from, and in turn I like to understand where they were coming from. While being on a reality show was never something I ever thought I would be doing with my life, I have certainly been grateful for the opportunity to communicate what my life is about and why I believe what I do.

I had this experience with a beautician that really threw me off and set me back. I sat down in her chair to get my hair done and immediately I could tell she was bothered. Her face was hard and after a few moments of awkward small talk she looked me straight in the eye and said, “You must be crazy and stupid to ever think being married to a man with more than one wife was a smart choice.”  I sat there dumbfounded. My communication skills were nowhere to be found. All of a sudden she was done with my hair and walked away. I have had many nights to sit and think about what I would say to her if I were ever given the chance again. So here goes:

Dear Miss Beautician,

            I can only imagine why you would think I am crazy and stupid for living the life that I do. I am sure it would be hard for a monogamous woman to try to wrap her head around why any woman would be ok with “sharing” her husband. Please allow me to enlighten you.

The first reason I live the life that I do is because it is part of my religious beliefs. I came to my beliefs through a lot of soul searching and prayer. It is very sacred and important to me.

Though you may not understand this reason, you also need to know that because of my family structure and the way I believe, I have amazing women – my sisterwives – in my life who support me emotionally as a mother and help me raise my kids. It is a huge blessing to me and to my children.

While you may think that these are the only valid reasons let me explain another reason to your monogamous way of thinking.  Choosing with whom you are going to share your money, your home, your heart and your kids with is the most important decision a woman can make. Don’t get me wrong here, but have you ever looked at someone else’s husband and thought: “I wish I could find someone like him” or “All the good men are taken”?  Well, in my belief system a woman has the opportunity to consider every man in our church as a potential husband. Granted all people involved (husband, present sisterwives, single woman) get to choose if the marriage works, but women in my church have a wide range of choices. I know I did. What if you could choose a husband based on his performance as a husband and a father without having to marry him first?  I KNEW my husband was going to be a good husband and father before I even started to consider marrying him. Beyond my own testimony, I knew Kody was the guy for me because he had proved himself to three other women. I had proof that he loved them through money issues, stretch marks and PMS. I saw his love and care for his children before I said “I do”. So, you see, I am actually not crazy or stupid. I am lucky and blessed! 

Sincerely,

Robyn Brown   


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About the Authors

Sister Wives explores the lives of Kody Brown and his four wives, Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Join Janelle and Robyn Brown as they blog about the ins and outs of their lives as sister wives.
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