Robyn Brown: Open Letter to a Monogamous Beautician
Robyn Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's fourth wife. Follow along as she shares her perspective on the intriguing world of a sister wife.I have always been the kind of person who liked to make sure the people around me understood where I was coming from, and in turn I like to understand where they were coming from. While being on a reality show was never something I ever thought I would be doing with my life, I have certainly been grateful for the opportunity to communicate what my life is about and why I believe what I do.
I had this experience with a beautician that really threw me off and set me back. I sat down in her chair to get my hair done and immediately I could tell she was bothered. Her face was hard and after a few moments of awkward small talk she looked me straight in the eye and said, “You must be crazy and stupid to ever think being married to a man with more than one wife was a smart choice.” I sat there dumbfounded. My communication skills were nowhere to be found. All of a sudden she was done with my hair and walked away. I have had many nights to sit and think about what I would say to her if I were ever given the chance again. So here goes:
Dear Miss Beautician,
I can only imagine why you would think I am crazy and stupid for living the life that I do. I am sure it would be hard for a monogamous woman to try to wrap her head around why any woman would be ok with “sharing” her husband. Please allow me to enlighten you.
The first reason I live the life that I do is because it is part of my religious beliefs. I came to my beliefs through a lot of soul searching and prayer. It is very sacred and important to me.
Though you may not understand this reason, you also need to know that because of my family structure and the way I believe, I have amazing women – my sisterwives – in my life who support me emotionally as a mother and help me raise my kids. It is a huge blessing to me and to my children.
While you may think that these are the only valid reasons let me explain another reason to your monogamous way of thinking. Choosing with whom you are going to share your money, your home, your heart and your kids with is the most important decision a woman can make. Don’t get me wrong here, but have you ever looked at someone else’s husband and thought: “I wish I could find someone like him” or “All the good men are taken”? Well, in my belief system a woman has the opportunity to consider every man in our church as a potential husband. Granted all people involved (husband, present sisterwives, single woman) get to choose if the marriage works, but women in my church have a wide range of choices. I know I did. What if you could choose a husband based on his performance as a husband and a father without having to marry him first? I KNEW my husband was going to be a good husband and father before I even started to consider marrying him. Beyond my own testimony, I knew Kody was the guy for me because he had proved himself to three other women. I had proof that he loved them through money issues, stretch marks and PMS. I saw his love and care for his children before I said “I do”. So, you see, I am actually not crazy or stupid. I am lucky and blessed!