Janelle Brown: Learning to Walk
Janelle Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's second wife. Follow along on her journey forward to weight loss and a healthier lifestyle.
As I watch our little toddler, Solomon, play around, I notice how effortlessly he picks himself up, even after a fall. It is as if he simply believes he can stand up and walk, and so he does. He never falls down and says, “Wow, that hurt, so I am never going to try walking again.” As I watch him again and again, I am struck again by the miracle of how our children grow and develop.
But Solomon didn’t just stand up and walk one day. There were little benchmarks, little progressions each day. First he rolled over. I am sure he was surprised when it happened. He probably had no idea that his body would move that way until it did. Then, he probably figured out how to balance himself in a sitting position, and so on and so forth.
I found that as I became active again, I had lost much of the basic belief that my body would move a certain way. In some cases, I had truly lost basic functionality and had to work to regain it. Like Solomon, I have had to, and continue to work through, different stages of physical ability, rebuilding and re-teaching my body to move in the way it is intended to. But even when there is ability, there are strong mental barriers that keep me from doing certain things -- a very fundamental belief that somehow my body will never be healed, that I will never move like the athletes I watch every day. And while mental, this “barrier of belief” is very real. I have lost the faith of a baby learning to walk.
The time came to take the metaphorical first step, and I am happy to report that I have stood up to and conquered one of these barriers. I am now running sprints for the first time since I was in elementary school. It doesn’t mean that all of the doubt is gone. I still feel it each time I get ready to run, but it is less and less each time. And today during warm-up, my fitness mentor had me try a new workout progression. He demonstrated and I laughed at him. I knew I had been preparing and could do each part of the progression, but to put them together was a completely different story. I tried and I succeeded, truly amazing myself. I felt another piece of my body confidence click back into place.
There are days when I fall down. The first time I pulled a muscle I felt defeated. But I hope to be like Solomon learning to walk. I want to think and do without doubt.