Janelle Brown: Lightning Strikes and Changing the Conversation
Janelle Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's second wife. Follow along on her journey forward to weight loss and a healthier lifestyle.
I am a chronic over-scheduler. I come from a long line of over-schedulers and my daughter, Maddie, is showing the signs of being cut from the same cloth. It is partly because of the good old-fashioned work ethic my parents blessed/cursed me with! I plan my to-do list each morning, which includes setting up all of my appointments and meetings. At this time of day, I am the most optimistic about how much time will bend for me and how efficient I am going to be that day.
It seems that common words of wisdom include such things as “just learn how to say no,” and “prioritize.” For many years I gave those ideas lip service, repeating them often to family and friends. While I do not discount those ideas, I am often caught in situations where, as a self-employed person, there is no way to say no. Add this to a list of commitments having to do with kids and family -- which are pretty much immovable -- and I have a calendar traffic jam. So I trudge along, often finding myself melting down and in tears as I shuttle off to my next commitment.
While it is true that my family structure has long enabled this chronic over-scheduling, I recently had a lightning-strike type of moment: I realized it was my very personal internal conversation that was setting the limits on what I could and could not do. The things I tell myself about the way things are. It is the conversation you don’t always hear yourself having, but if you sit quietly, you will. Mine kind of goes like this “you are maxed to your capacity, you cannot do anything more, just give up," or “wow, you have no idea what you are doing, that is too hard,” or “you don’t have the energy to push this venture any further." My internal lightning strike was that I realized I could change that mental conversation I was having with myself. I started make an effort to tell myself that “I can finish everything on my plate, and I have all the time and skill I need to accomplish everything I NEED to do.” It is interesting that in addition to having an increased capacity to do more, I am finding myself able to naturally prioritize and set realistic limits, but I had to empower myself to do it all first.
The changing of this internal conversation is slowly leaking into other aspects of my life -- including my workouts. In the morning, when I feel like I am going to just die if I push for that extra few minutes of hard cardio, I tell -- and sometimes scream to -- myself just to make sure I’m convinced, “you can do this” or “I want this.”
It all really boils down to the fact that I have learned I can change the conversation in every aspect of my life. And by changing that deep personal conversation, I have empowered myself to do things I never before imagined. Thank goodness for lightning!