Janelle Brown: Hit Like A Girl…No, Hit Like A Stressed Out Girl
Janelle Brown of Sister Wives is Kody's second wife. Follow along on her journey forward to weight loss and a healthier lifestyle.
I remember the first time I put on boxing gloves. They felt hot and awkward. I was told to hit the big bag hanging in front of me. That is when I short-circuited. I had a huge mental block at the idea that I was to actually throw my fist and make contact with something on purpose. I must have sat there for two or three minutes. I was consciously telling my fist to move, but it wouldn't. The electrical impulse of thought ended at the shoulder. I did finally manage to throw my first punch. It was a weak pathetic thing. My glove made contact and I felt the impact through my hand on up through the wrist and into the forearm. The next hit was more purposeful. I braced the muscles and laid a solid hit moving the punching bag several feet. I was hooked!
It is hard to explain the surge of adrenaline accompanied by the rush of stress and emotion as it leaves my body with each strike. I sometimes feel anger and stress welling up from deep inside even when I am not stressed out or angry. It is a release of long buried emotion. It is not emotion tied to any one particular person or thing, it just comes. I will admit I often see faces of different people on the punching bag! It isn't anything personal, or emotional even being expressed towards that person in reality, and I certainly don't really want to hit them. It is just a release.
When the workout is through I am spent. I’m in a euphoric state. It feels like I have just had an ugly fight with someone and the air is now clear. Boxing was my very first experience with pushing myself beyond the idea I had in my head of what my physical boundaries were. I once took a self-defense class and I remember the instructor saying how hard it was for woman to yell and scream even when being attacked. For me throwing the first punch was like that. We have these culturally placed boundaries on what is "ladylike." I had unconscious boundaries on what this “fluffy” 43-year-old woman could do and I boxed my way through them. Boxing is now my “go-to” workout, my “reward” workout. It is the workout I often turn to when I don’t feel like working out. It is my reminder that I can do it even if I don’t think I can.