Do rocket scientists make good physics teachers?

August 26, 2008

It’s not that I lack compassion, but I’m going azew (yes, my son had to read Tess of the d’Urbervilles for a summer English assignment and we both learned this word) hearing about the poor space shuttle workers who will soon be out of work.

Please no hate mail, but really folks, you’ve had these steady, well-paying jobs, with good insurance, benefits and vacations, government holidays and perks like government hotel rates since Ronald Reagan was president and maybe even Jimmy Carter, and now that they’re going away, you’re freaking and looking for more help from Uncle Sam?

Well, I’ve got a job for you: Go teach physics class at the local high school. You see, aforementioned son is in this rigorous academic program at a stand-out high school on Florida’s Space Coast and there’s no physics teacher. I called yesterday (gulp … yes son, I still do check up on ya) to see where things stood and found out that a teacher had been hired, but she can't start until the district finds a replacement to work at the school she’s leaving. From what I’ve read about the dearth of science teachers in Florida, that could be a dicey proposition.

My son really needs a physics teacher because he’s taking psychology too and he’s starting to wonder if life can be extended by replacing body parts with machined goods; if scientists can locate the soul in the human body; if it would be a limitation if said research is done only on cadavers; and if time is real or a construct of our perspective. More specifically, he wants to know what you’d see if you could travel back 13.7 billion years before the Big Bang.

I tell him about string theory because it’s 12:30 a.m. and somehow I think that might be a comfort to him, that randomness popping in and out like fairy godmothers and he begins to calm down and finally falls asleep wondering if he might meet another version of himself someday.

Perhaps I watched too much “Bewitched” and “I Dream of Jeannie” when I was growing up, but I believe we have the power to create our own solutions. NASA wore this cloak of invincibility throughout my childhood years. I know it wants to don that garb again. So here’s a suggestion: Let’s not label the upcoming layoffs as a brain drain for NASA: Think of it more as a resource for the nation.