Corey’s Lesson in Java:
The magic of smiling.
The six of us were getting pretty used to traveling in countries where the people we met spoke very little English. Early in the show we had gotten into the bad habit of having private conversations publicly because people did not understand us. After several days of foreign travel, we arrived in London, but since we were still not back in the U.S. Brad forgot that the English, well, speak English. Riding on the Underground, Brad yelled to me across the cab, "Man, these cats are unhappy!" Shocked and embarrassed I looked sheepishly around the train at the two dozen or so passengers. But not a single one had reacted. They all stared straight ahead. "Wow! You're right!" I called back.
When we were welcomed in West Java, the local elders attempted to respect us by offering the traditional Western greeting, a hand shake. It was one of the most awkward greetings I have ever experienced. Less because the Javans weren't used to shaking hands, and more because the meaning behind our cultural greetings are fundamentally different.
In Java, whenever we passed someone in the village, their face gleamed with the widest smile you've ever seen. As if seeing us made them feel the happiest they have ever been. But this was true for everyone, every time. While initially smiling back seemed forced and contrived, their glee was contagious. Soon everywhere we went, every person we saw, I couldn't help myself from smiling at him or her.
There is something about smiling with another person that transcends individuality. I could speak with very few of the villagers and knew hardly any of their names. But when we looked each other in the eyes and smiled, we were sharing with each other, in one simple smile, something so much deeper. It felt as though we were exchanging how magical and wonderful it is to be alive and to be able to experience life with each other. Smiling removed any barriers and it discarded any value judgment about that moment. I felt closer to that community than any I've ever been in even though I knew it hardly at all.
It was very uncomfortable for me to return to Western society after Java. Most everyone I passed never looked at me, and those that did seemed creeped out by how long I looked at them. This is so sad to me. Just think of all the amazing stories faces tell; how incredible it is that beneath our lifetimes of diverse experience we are all on the same life quest. We see ourselves as separate, but each of our lives are entirely composed of everyone else. If we love ourselves, then we must equally love everyone else for they are us.
In greeting others with a smile we recognize our place together. We have no fear of opening our hearts to others because we know that love is not something that can be taken from us. You give it to yourself by being happy that you are on this earth and smiling. It is wonderful when you get a smile back, but that is not the most important part. There is no need to believe that one person smiling can change the world — only to know that your smiling will change yours.
Mark’s Final Thoughts:
My year of tribal competing, living and traveling has now finally come to a very surreal end. Many times over the year I have sat in places, gathering my thoughts and asking questions, comparing my life to each individual tribe visited, but the truth is you can’t compare them at all. I have been comparing them because my preconception of tribal life was that it must be so hard: living off the land; not having much money; no electricity, modern-day health care, television, music or even a choice of foods to eat. But what the tribes lack materialistically they gain in richness of family, community spirit, belonging and freedom.
It’s true, we all have stresses and pressures in our lives even though they appear to be so different. I suppose that’s the only similarity between our Western developed society and every tribe I have visited.
Everybody in this world fights his or her own personal battles. It’s what is and should be important to us, but what we must realize is that they are only truly important to ourselves and ourselves alone. It is our personal journey through life. I am continuing mine every minute of every day -- maybe it’s nearly over or maybe it’s just the beginning.
One thing that does stick in my head is that I may now be 28 but, hey, look what I have to show for it. I mean it when I say this everyone, I have enjoyed the presence of these places so much, from secretive sunrises to the dramatic sunsets, the daytime tribal echoes to the haunting evening whispers of the dark.
I know what you’re all thinking! “I bet it was paradise.” Well, not always.
Paradise to me is not a place but a state of mind. It’s who you are with and how content you feel at that particular moment in time, and although the amazing surroundings can help that state of happiness and contentment, it doesn’t always mean you will be happy.
Yes, I am very fortunate to have had this amazing experience, but for those who never will, it’s not the be all and end all. If you can obtain that mind-set of contentment and happiness no matter what it is that you do or achieve in your life, and even where you do it, then you truly will be in paradise.
I guess I will have to close with a final bit of advice that can help everyone in our modern-day materialistic world -- advice from a summary of my experience. It might just help.
Live for today as you may never see tomorrow. Treat every day as it’s your last and never put off telling the people that are closest to you that you really do love them. You should then look back at your life and think, “Wow! What a ride! I have no regrets and really couldn’t have done it better.” That’s paradise, everyone! That really is paradise.



