Entry 1: Red Hot Chili Peppers in Brazil

 

Richard Writes:
From the dark refuge of the men’s hut, I could hear the preparation outside, the children’s hushed voices and the commanding murmurs of the Kalapalo elders. Someone shouted a noise - "Hoi!" - and the murmuring rose in approval. The comb had arrived.

When I say "comb" few will understand why my brow was beaded with sweat, why my heart pounded solemnly against my trembling ribs. After all, a comb is an eminently unthreatening item, and even the scratchiest of them cannot do more than leave a faint and transient mark. Combs as I knew them were harmless things. Yet the people around me bore vivid scars etched down their arms and legs like endless white barcodes. The kind made by razor blades. Or possibly piranha teeth …

Brad and Rajko, the first to endure the ritual through which every wrestler has to pass, had bled steadily. They had looked impressively impassive as they were scratched, and I resolved to look equally statuesque. Taking my place, I tried a confident laugh. It came out soft and strangled, and Tamalui gave me a sympathetic look. The chief, an excellent man and naked as the day he was born, knelt before me to examine my legs, and after wetting the comb, he began.

Some clever person once noticed that a gang of piranhas can shred a cow to the bone in six seconds, and this is without a sharpened set of dentures. The teeth that pressed into the soft, dimpled flesh of my upper thigh had been worked on, and worked on well. That first scratch was startling, a searing, uncompromising tear down through the hairs of my groin. I breathed out slowly, and looked to the sky. The chief worked quickly and curtly, as if he were sanding a fencepost. The burning spread with each scratch, first skirting round my thigh, then edging down to the soft skin of my knees, on to the taught part of my calf, and ending with the shins. Teeth on shinbone was a difficult combination, neither wanting to give way, while in the middle my unhappy skin found no direction to yield. All the while my face, held toward the sky, bore a kaleidoscope of pained expressions: gritted teeth, puffed cheeks, eyes tightly closed, head cocked. None of them helped.

It was during the second leg that I looked down, to survey the damage, and instantly wished I hadn’t. Where the wounds of my comrades had flowed gradually, mine poured like crimson rivulets, and round the soles of my feet pools of blood formed against the hot sand. My legs were shredded, flayed pink from waist to ankle. Even at the best of times mine are not attractive legs, but, like anyone else’s, they definitely look worse when you take away half the skin. "Ravaged" is a word that gets thrown around carelessly, but I use it now with the utmost seriousness. My pasty legs were ravaged to pulp.

In a place where every unusual thing has a very deliberate reason, the sight of the chief now grinding chilies into powder was not one that filled me with confidence. Powder now in hand, and advancing upon my legs, it seemed nothing would deter him, and I racked my brains for some way out. It is difficult for the mind to create canny escape plans when there are chilies in the blood, and as the first slap of the chief’s powdered palm hit my wounds, pain hit me like a thunderclap, and in a convulsive shot of pure discomfort, I stood like a fool, veins bulging in my neck, eyeballs throbbing in my skull. It was agony. Horrible, sustained agony.

And then he stopped, and though the burning remained, it was softened by the realization that those who had looked on so anxiously now smiled warmly. Tamalui looked fondly on, and there I saw that I was no longer a fool. I was a warrior. Even the chief seemed pleased, and in a sudden appreciation of everything Kalapalo, of this wonderful ritual and its meaning for the wrestlers and the people of the village, I shook him by the hand. Then, legs stiffened by the congealing wounds, I hobbled over to Rajko and Brad. The mood was quiet, but a deep satisfaction filled us all.

Brad’s Take:
Man, he put the handful of salt and chilies on the top of my quad and I automatically felt it lock up on me. It literally felt like he took fire and just lit me up and then he just worked it all the way down and he made sure he was getting it in all the cracks, all the crevices. He worked it in. And then he hit the other leg. And I'm just sitting there going, "I'm at a 15, man. The pain is at a 15. It's off the charts. This is horrible. This is like being burnt alive." You can't wash it off. The whole warrior squad is sitting there watching you. This is the test of manhood basically. If you can't endure this pain, then basically, you can't wrestle. And I'm gonna wrestle. So, you know, I hold my composure. It's over. Game over. I step to the side. Rajko is next. Right on. But the one that made me crack up is Rich. Poor bastard. I told him, "Don't do the salt and the chilies." I was like, "Don't do it, man. It hurt. I promise you. Don’t do it. You don't want to do it."

And then he just looks at me with the Richard grin and goes, “I have no choice.” He already did it. And he's just, his jaw clenches 'cause it's all locked up 'cause the dude is rubbing it in his leg. And you just see him go, hmm, ah, hmm. And he's trying to hold his composure so damn well. I feel his pain. But I'm not in pain anymore 'cause I'm just laughing at him. And it completely took my pain away. I was, like, "I'm so glad you're here, Rich. You made it all better for me." And we walk away and everybody's walking bold legged, comparing our pain like, "Well, I hurt more than you because I'm black. And I hurt more than you because I'm young." Rajko hurt more than everybody 'cause he's old, you know. So then I just slapped everybody on the leg and on the arm and called it a day.

Comments

[USN McGraw]

I'm sooo jealous, looking forward to seeing this show, which is saying something since I don't generally watch T.V.

[Alexis]

sounds very interesting.
this show i'm sure will become my favorite, since it has to deal with survival, and fighting. its like UFC but outdoors, and more intense.

[Josh]

I have been looking forward to this show for some time. Finally, a true test of manhood based on generations of battle that have been passed on thru the ages. True fighting!

[maximus]

I'm stoked.My kind of show. Guys traveling the world, fighting tribals in a radical game of strength and endurance; that will push them to their limits. I want to compete.

[aris]

Im sorry but im watching the show and its a complete joke, none of these guys have any fighting experience so i dont know how they are supposed to do any good in ten days, human weapon is way better.

[matt]

I would have like to seen someone who has some MMA cage expeirence also. I thought the ones that are there did not have much expertise to be doing such a show.

[matt]

Please show more of the tribal chicks...they are hot.

[Peg]

I don't normally watch much tv, but this show had really piqued my interest. I was so grateful to find that it was even better than I expected. On pins and needles til next thurday...

[Chriisty]

I really enjoy this show. Rajko is hotttt.

[Bash]

I def would have liked to see some a MMA fighter in this! Def would have really been great to see how they compete against these fighters. To learn to fight in ten days with no fighting experience at all, its going to be hard to believe they will win any fighting competitions, maybe some of the sports yeah but not the fights. Seeing how the tribes live and interact with the athletes is pretty cool. Other than that the show looks awesome! Lots of hardcore fighting blood and ocassional naked tribal chicks lol! Good show! I am hooked! I never watch TV but this is enough to keep me coming back!

[Donovan Calabaza]

Awesome show. Pure joy and incredibly interesting. Discovery channel knows what a true reality show should be about.

[Kelly]

Go Brad!!! ;)

[Kelly]

Go Brad!!! ;)

[Kelly]

Go Brad!!! ;)

[Mayshing]

A truly well planned show in all aspect, from show management to viewer interaction. It's interesting for a person who's into learning anthropology.
The show also offers learning about martial arts, sports of other cultures tied to their religion and traditions. It's a nice twist to the reality TV, one package with many offerings suited to attract a wide audience.

I have thought of comparing this show to "Human Weapon" as well, but the focus of "Last one Standing" is quite broad, unlike "Human Weapon" that has a lot more focus in pure martial arts and techniques, this one has more focus on individual development, competition in a closely knit community setting instead, one should keep that in mind the differences while watching both shows.

Except... wouldn't it be better if the athletes were a bit more prepared than being "dumped" to the tribe? However, as mentioned, perhaps it's more exciting for the athletes to be dumped there without knowing much.

It's a great learning experience to look at the tribal people interacting with people outside, I just hope the experience is as good to those tribes involved in it as well. (I don't want to see another tribe complain about the Western TV show after the filming.)

As expected from Richard, a very good writer, I hope to see more good blog reports.

[JackieP]

I think the point of not having someone w/MMA experience is to have the athlete get into something they haven't done before. Sort of fish out of waterish but not completely. It's about the spirit of the athlete or in this case the warrior. It's about heart not your past fighting experience. This show is really an amazing look at completely different cultures interacting. These six men are very honored. Can't wait for next Thursday! PS Rajko is beautiful and needs a fan club right now.

[Box Portrait Gallery]

We are all routing for you Brad !!!! You Rock !!!!

[JackieP]

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of good deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
-Theadore Roosevelt

[KC]

Do you six guys have Myspace pages? Send me pls. Thx.

[Buelljoken]

Wrestling is the core of fighting. Watching the show is like middle school wrestling. The cool thing is you learn from others you fight. I think this show is cool and I hope it sparks a new style of fighting. MMA is not as hard core as this!!! I'd like to see Brad come back and teach MMA what he has learned. Brad vs Kimbo

[buelljoken]

If Rajko learns how to fight he will win

[Seaman Recruit Inocente USN]

I really enjoy watching this show...it is inspiring to me it helps me out with the training I have to go through while in the NAVY...it shows me how much easier i have it LOL....

[Thomas Laquer]

I think this whole series is a massive fraud. There is no tribe, it is all contrived and poorly. Nice try.

[Teague]

I have been excited to see this show since I saw the first preview weeks ago. It completely lived up to my expectations! I don't have cable (broke college kid) so I have to go to the gym to see it. I think I was motivated by these guys because it was one of the best workouts I've had. I can't wait for next week!

[Dave]

I thought this show was a complete disgrace!! I mean if your going to send a bunch of guys in to fight with natives dont you think they should have some sort of fighting background? Aside from one kickboxer, who has any experience? A BMX racer, come on, a Rugby player whos main sports are crochet and cricket, a fitness guru?
Why didnt they recruit some people from UFC or get some good wrestlers (not WWF). I watched the show last night and I was a half decent wrestled in High school and probably could have taken 3/4 of the natives out!!!
Id like to see a second season with REAL fighters!!