A new chapter for the Gosselin family

06/22/2009

From the Editors:
Share your thoughts on the Gosselin's future. Leave your comments, advice and words of encouragement.

Comments to this entry are now closed.

Comments

[Marlene]

Jon & Kate: Having watched your beautiful family from the very first television special right up through this week's episode, I am deeply saddened by the news of your divorce. I always admired how well the two of you seemed to work together - by that I mean Jon was more passive and Kate was more aggressive - that's what made it work. It seems that may very well be what has torn the two of you apart in the end. I had that same kind of marriage the first time around. I certainly can feel Kate's pain and understand the hardened exterior she is portraying - that's a strong woman going into survival mode. I hope and pray for a miracle for your marriage. No matter what though, do things that you will always be proud of. It's going to be a long, hard road if you end up divorced.

[Patricia R]

How upsetting to watch how money & fame have corrupted the Gosselin family. Jon & Kate are blinded to what their children need the most - a secure set of parents to raise & love them. Kate - its untrue to say that the show had nothing to do with what has happened. Jon - for you to smile excitedly about the "new chapter" in your life is very insensitive. Don't you realize that your kids will see that? How will they believe that you "put the kids first?" Its obvious to us all, Jon & Kate, that you HAVE NOT put the kids first. Like so many failed marriages before you - you have sadly put yourselves first to leave the marriage. If you would try putting each other first you would save the marriage. No marriage stays strong with the kids coming first - that is a common misconception and the reason there are so many divorces. We in marriages need to put our spouse first (after God) - this keeps the family healthy & strong. My prayers & thoughts are with you Kate & Jon - God is loving & forgiving & I pray you turn to Him for guidance. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 16:1)

[marybeth]

I don't know who is worse, Jon and Kate or TLC.

Shameful opportunists the lot of you!!!!

All I can say is pray for the kids. Your show should be canceled.

[Ashley]

I was sad to see the episode last night where you all anounced that you were seperating. I hope that everything works out for you and your family. Every marriage has good and bad situations but you work through them, you talk and work it out. I truly wish you both the best and I pray that you are making the right decision. After all, its about those 8 wonderful children.

[Erin]

just please sit back and take time to recooperate! maybe you and jon should go away and get back to the good stuff! as much as i hate to say it i think the show should be put on hold or even end! kate there is still lots of things you can do to provide for your kids! take a break and realize that your kids need both of you all the time! i love your family and wish you all the best and hope and pray everyday that things will work out for all of you! please think of what this is going to come to in the long run!

[Julie]

Jon and Kate- My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can not imagine what you are going through with 8 children. Just wondering if you have tried marriage counseling? I know that it takes two make and break a marriage and no one is perfect. I am only an outside looking in and I know we only see part of your story. You never know what the Lord has planned, what once was broken He can make new. I am divorced and remarried. Speaking from experience, try everything you can to keep together. Even though I am remarried, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think that I traded one set of problem for another. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I understand now why God says that he does not like divorce. Marriage is tough and takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Don't give up. Separate if need be, seek counseling, and trust in God. Seek Him first. I wish I would have listened to my own advice years ago and tried harder the first time. Lots of love and prayers to you and you family.

[Faith]

Kate-
I wish you did not have to deal this, but I understand. My parents divorced when I was 7, it was very hard. So expect sone crying. Cara and Mady are about my age when my parents divorced, so please tell them I understand and let them know that they are not the only ones who parents split up. Please, also tell them that this is NOT there falt. I hate this for yall but I understand. It is a very hard thing to go through, but make sure they know it is not their falt and they are not the only ones to go through it. One tip I havefor you is, buy Cara and Mady a diary so they can write down their feelings when they are upset, it realy helps. Just remember I understand and know yall will be fine. I am SO sorry this happened to you. Just keep close to God and everything will be okay.

[Edith DiGangi]

I had so much I wanted to say
but as I read the other comments, most everything I wanted to say was said,
"Love each other first, make time for each other and
the love will show in your children". You have a great show and I will watch forever.

[Karen]

Dear Jon and Kate,
My husband and I have been married for 22 years with 2 beautiful kids. Parents should always respect one another. You emulate what your children see everyday and they will turn out to be kind people. Kate, you are not respectful of Jon as a father, husband or even a friend. Would you treat your friends the way you treat Jon? I don't think so. The one person you are supposed to love, honor and cherish and you belittle him, disrespect him and basically don't think he can do anything right. You have to stop being like that. The fame probably has gone to your head. Jon has to leave you to get his sense of respect back, both as a person, then as a father and ultimately as a lover to someone else who hopefully will cherish and honor him. My advice, albeit unasked for, would be to try marriage counseling and cancel the show. Either the show or your marriage. One has to be more impt than the other. If the show is more impt, then you have your answer and Jon must move on. Make the right choice. Best of luck. Remember, it is not our abilities that show what we truly are; it is our choices.

[Debra]

Dear Jon & Kate,
I really hope you read all your comments. I have not heard one time that you two were seeking help. SHAME ON YOU!!! That is the first thing a couple does. I thought you had a Church that you attended? You both are very selfish people. Give the show up if it causes problem the OSBORNES DID. What does that tell you!!!
God Bless.

[gail]

I have read all the comments posted. Some I agree with, most I do not. I divorced my first husband for many reasons...abuse, infidelity, you name it..he did it. I remarried and though times have been tough, we recently celebrated 20 years. We have teenage children and I have two from the first marriage. The older two are on there own and doing okay..one better than the other. I have watched your show from the beginning and I have noticed that Jon did not help out alot and that when you were out on your ventures..he seemed to act like one of the kids. However, in watching clips of your early years (just the two of you), you could tell that you were so in love with each other. There has to be a way that you can find that spark for one another again. The offer from the pastor for counseling seems like your best chance/opportunity. My son has been at church camp this summer (he is 16), came home and told me and his dad that he knows times have been rough for us and that we do argue, but that he is glad that we have stayed together. He as at camp and most of the children their were from broken homes and all had so many issues, anger, depression, fear, isolation. You know, we have children and we realize that our lives as we have known them no longer exist. You know what, that day will come again and it is not the kids fault. They deserve all of us, all of the time. One post said, work on each other and the marriage and the children would follow. This is one of the truest statements ever. Kids follow our examples. Does my husband excel to my top expectations..NO! Do I excel to his top expectations..NO! We are not perfect none of us (as Kate as said many times). We have to learn to accept the faults of our partner and try to move past it. Yes this is hard, but believe me MONEY does not buy happiness. Yes your kids have had a lot of experiences that they probably wouldn't have had without the show..but you would probably still have your family together without the show. Please trust in the Lord, and he WILL give you the guidance and direction that he has for your family!

[Del]

Jon, Why did you renew your wedding vows in Hawaii back in February if you were already having problem?

[Tina]

Jon and Kate
I have watched you show since day one. You and your family were so great.I feel that the show has caused so much of your problems. Jon you have not done the right things. Showing up with college kids. You are 32 married and 8 kids when did you forget about this. Kate your are 34 married and 8 kids leaving them for days is not the right thing. You 2 were made for each other and can work threw this. Stop thinking of all the things you can get for free. You made it befor the show and can make it after the show if you want to make the kids come first then you need to get your lives with each other right befor this can happen. I wish you the best of luck and God will help you threw these tryn times..Put the show on hold and work on your marriage..It's a crazy life but it's our life. Is it or is it your life and the show's life'
A huge fan and always will be. Tina

[Mary]

I want to cry for you guys b/c I love you guys and loved your unit and you were like an inspiration. Keep the faith and remember don't give up. I split from my fiance of 4 years for 9 months and now we are getting married and are stronger than ever. Maybe he needs time to realize where he needs to be. Love Love!!

[Ed]

Counseling seems like the best option rather than running out for a quick divorce. God can bring about reconciliation in the worst of times and it only seems logical in the face of what your children will have to deal with while you conveniently part ways. A hiatus is fine, but beyond that, it seems like you're seeking a chasm that won't heal despite everything you've shared for 10 years of marriage and in what brought you together in the first place.
My wife and I have watched a few programs these past few weeks just prior to the 'issues' that caused the split became apparent and we both found such a lack of respect on your part Kate for Jon with regular digs into how he handles himself, what he did or how he speaks. Totally disrespectful. That's not working as a team, but as one who sees themselves above the other only to 'keep score' and take it out on the other person. It takes two in a relationship, but when one decides to tear down another in front of others, especially on national TV, it's beyond disrespect; it's shameful on your part. You two were in this together at the beginning, in the raising of your children and yet somewhere along the way you saw fit to become unequally yoked and decided to undermine Jon for whatever reason. I can see it in his face whenever you launch your slights and he sits there taking it, not willing to return the volley of your insults. Grow up Kate; look in the mirror and see just what you created in yourself and what you're willing to throw away because of 'life itself', it's issues and what is currently rocking your marriage; it's not worth it to break up when reconciliation can be attained. Difficult? Yes, but for the sake of your children; priceless.

[Patricia]

June 24, 2009

Dearest Kate,

I’ve been praying for, health, peace and tranquility for your beautiful family.

Kate, you and Jon are very special people, you are the parents of 8 beautiful gifts from GOD. Right now, you guys are wondering around in the desert

I know it’s extremely hard to go through this new situation, but I want to believe that it will not last. I’m a 591/2 year old Mom, been married 4 times and have 4 great children.
I don’t want you to give up on your marriage. I’m just trying to give you some advise

Sometimes we, women, need to be humbled before we loose a good thing. I’ll explain. You are an extremely strong minded woman; you know what you want and will do what you have to do to get there. Jon is a great guy, but not as commanding a personality, as you are. I’ve been in this same situation, I’m very strong minded and organized person, I plow through problems and situations like I was put on this earth to do nothing else. I get so involved in the situation and problems that arise, I forget about how to treat others, and many times, I’ll say things in a manner that sounds very harsh and uncaring. I have to be reminded about this every time a new situation arises. I get gung ho and forget about the others involved. Why? I’m the one who has to solve the problem. No matter how small or how large it is it’s always me fixing the mess.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to recognize this in myself. I pray to the LORD for help in this not so appealing trait I have. I’ve always been able to win an argument because of my wit and tongue.

Men are different; I’m right now married for 12 years, to my biggest challenge. He is a good man, works hard but he’s a rebel and has worn that tag for years. He’ll do it his way, is his motto. Most of his actions eventually come back to bite his butt and at the same time. I’m married to him now, and whatever it is, becomes my problem. I found that instead of expecting more common sense from him, I’ve had to learn how to manipulate him into understanding the situation. I could never ask my hubby to please do a task, if I did ask, for sure it be like I made some extremely degrading comment to him. I’ve had to learn how to use psychology when dealing with him in all phases of our relationship. It’s tiring and gets old, but it does keep me upbeat. He’s like having a lifelong teenager to live with. Why, who knows? That’s just the way it is. I know pampering him Jon needs to be pampered. I hate saying this, but once I realized that not all men were as strong as my Dad, some are lacking in many areas. It’s weird, but true, men and woman never think alike. You might not want to hear this, but you do speak to Jon in a pretty demeaning way. We already know that men are not the brightest stars in the sky. There way of thinking could never compare to ours. That’s why there is always a GREAT WOMAN behind every man

One thing that is surly going to make them not like us is emasculating them. It’s even more amplified as it’s done in public and on the TV show. We already know that you want it your way, so try just saying it in a nicer fashion. Men respond to something like this. “Hon, I know you really wanted the wall painted blue, but green is so much more calming.” Or “Hon, I only need 8 paper plates right now.” Or “Babe, I know you’re busy, but I just can’t do this myself, can you please help?” It’s a challenge for us Northern, strong minded woman to be able to add sugar to what we want and need from our men. The past 20 years, I’ve been living in the south USA. I’ve learned plenty of honey mushy (that adorable southern belle charm) talk to be able to sweeten a request into something he wants to do to please me. It’s easy to make them feel small and stupid. We need to learn how to make them feel like they just saved the day, by knowing which cabinet the salt may be in. Hard, but true. Try it.

Love ya,
Pat

[J]

Kate-
I feel for you..I was sad to hear you are separating but not surprised. I think your situation is a typical one. Because Jon can't be a man and make decisions you were forced to take on that role and now it is the one he hates you for. Ironic and very sad. I also think that although you are seen being very short with him his apathetic behavior has driven that and it was deserved. Now he's a typical poor guy who feels he needs to sow his wild oats because he wants to party and be young again. RIDICULOUS. He made a commitment when he married you and should work through it. I would like to see him be a man for once and not some boy who thinks he shouldn't have any responsibilities.

[Suzanne]

The show is Jon & Kate plus eight not Jon plus eight not Kate plus eight. What ever happened to " It might be a crazy life but it's our life". To see a real family working together through
good and bad was what was so great about this show. The special day in Hawaii refreshing their vow for their children was so special. Life has it's up and downs for all of us but please look into those little faces and fooling yourself that your doing what is best form them. I do wish you the best.

[Sandra Hines]

Jon and Kate, I realize this note may not reach you but I have to try. The crux of this whole problem is that you HAVE put your children first but what you SHOULD ABSOLUTELY do is put the needs of EACH OTHER FIRST. Then together you can meet the emotional and physical needs of your children. We are called to love our spouse MORE than we love ourselves. Jon, yes Kate is controlling but what did you do to contribute to her having to be controlling? If your personality is such that you go along with everything, then its not fair to cast blame when the reins are taken up by your spouse. Kate, you have put the children first when your number one priority is meeting the needs of your husband, allowing him to make decisions for you family and loving him unconditionally. I promise if the two of you would make the other your number 1 priority, then each of you would be fullfilled beyond your wildest dreams. Its hard to put your spouse first because it means giving up your ideas of what you want for yourself. Its like falling backwards and trusting that the other person will catch you. Together you will be putting your children first. Separately you will never, ever be able to parent your children effectively. Well adjusted children learn selflessness by watching their parents regard each other as the most important person in their lives. I beg you not to give up on a 10 year marriage. Get help to put it back together. You will never be sorry. Jon, you said that you have to do what's best for YOU and your children. That's the problem. Put her first. Kate, show love to your husband, make time for him. Sit on the couch together for 15 minutes a day, don't let the children interrupt your conversation for that 15 minutes. You will be surprised how the two of you will be able to connect. Saving your marriage will be saving your future happiness!

[Crystal]

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.