Robotic Bartenders?

July 25, 2008

I was going to write this week about Nobel Laureate Al Gore and his bold challenge in a recent speech that the U.S. should endeavor to generate 100 percent of its electricity from carbon-free sources by 2018. But I’ve decided to postpone that weighty discussion and instead examine another visionary proposal: robotic bartenders.

Unlikely as it may seem, there is a six degrees of separation connection between the two ideas. In addition to being the winner of the popular vote in the 2000 presidential election and a climate change crusader, Gore’s resume also includes occasional guest appearances as a talking-head-in-a-jar on the animated series Futurama — whose cast of characters also includes Bender, a hard-drinking automaton that has been known to close down a few 31st-century gin joints.

But I digress. If a robot can paint and weld in automobile plants, fly combat missions in Afghanistan and even vacuum the carpet in your living room, why shouldn’t it be able to mix at least a passable vodka martini?

The concept actually has been around for nearly as long as those pickled eggs behind the bar at your local neighborhood lounge. As the gadgetry Web site Technovelgy.com notes, the first to imagine a cybernetic barkeep may have been the science fiction author Alfred Bester, whose 1956 novel The Stars My Destination included this passage (again, courtesy of Technovelgy.com):

Taste became taste as he sipped the cognac that the robot bartender handed him.
He knew his life was at bay, faced with the decision of his life. He ignored his enemies and examined the perpetual beam carved in the robot face of the bartender, the classic Irish grin.
"Thank you," Foyle said.
"My pleasure, sir," the robot replied and awaited his next cue.
"Nice day," Foyle remarked.
"Always a lovely day somewhere, sir," the robot responded ...
"Day," Foyle said.
"Always a lovely day somewhere, sir," the robot responded ...
Foyle turned to the others. "That's me," he said, motioning to the robot. "That's all of us. We prattle about free will, but we're nothing but response ... mechanical reaction in prescribed grooves ..." 

To which I would say: Jeez pal, lighten up a little, willya? You might be better off getting your posterior off that barstool and seeing a robot psychotherapist to get to the bottom of those unresolved conflicts. And besides, in the nonfictional world, robotics designers have been hard at work, creating a range of drink-serving machines that not only can tap a nice, just-a-little-foam glass of lager and mix a Tom Collins with the adroitness of Tom Cruise’s character in the movie Cocktail, but also keep you from lapsing into tedious, alcohol-accentuated melancholy with an incessant stream of upbeat patter.

Consider, for example, Mr. Asahi, a Japanese-made mechanical barman with a convincing, albeit slightly incongruous working-class British accent that serves up pints at a London pub. Not only is the hard-working quarter-ton machine considerably quicker on the draw than its human counterparts, but as you’ll see from this Channel Flip segment, the robot's got a winning personality, too.

But Mr. Asahi has plenty of competition. The Korean Ministry of Science and Technology’s intelligent robot task force has created the T-Rot, a humanoid device equipped with a pair of video cameras that recognize people and objects such as glasses and refrigerators and interpret them three-dimensionally, and artificial intelligence capabilities that allow it to understand human speech and carry on conversations.

Also, Japanese-owned, Ohio-based robot maker Motoman has developed the RoboBar, a machine capable of handling nine different brands of booze at once without spilling or overpouring (the manufacturer estimates that it can reduce liquor overhead by as much as 20 percent), so your cocktails will always be made precisely according to formula and thus taste better. Beyond that, RoboBar doesn’t need to take an occasional night off to play poker with the boys — it can work for 62,000 hours without a malfunction, in fact — so you can always seek solace from its flat-screen video head and customizable personality (“This adds a human-like touch to the RoboBar experience,” the company’s Web site explains). Best of all, it doesn’t accept tips, so you can afford an extra round or three.

So what do you think? Are you ready to belly up to the bar and pour your troubles out to an animatronic version of Cheers’ Sam Malone? Or would you rather trust human hands to put that dash of bitters in your Manhattan? Express your opinion below.

Photo: Korean Ministry of Science and Technology

Comments

[Ike Austin]

I'll drink to that!

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Hey, can't I get any love here?

[Sam Malone]

I think the novelty factor would wear off quickly.

[CB]

They should equip the robot with a breathalyzer, so that if you're too drunk he can call you a cab to get home.

[Typical Human]

People go to bars because they don't want to drink alone. I think this is another sad example of technology being used to reduce human interaction and alienate us all.

[Mothra]

As long as they can have witty repartee...

[Astroboy]

Can they serve flaming shots without short circuiting?

[John Taylor]

Do they have a model that sings Irish songs in a baritone?

[John Wayne American]

If I'm going to have a robot serve me booze and/or brewskis, I want it to be an American-made robot built by God-fearing, patriotic, shot-and-a-beer drinking American workers! Those Japanese robots can stay home and serve up little teacups of sake or whatever they drink over there...

[Ruth]

Robot can be people solution, you buy a robot then you send the robot work for you, so you can stay home sleeping and relaxing. So the goverment should not allow companies in the future own robot, let the workers have it.

[iZac]

If robots have to go to work for us, they're going to want to stop at the bar after work and drink for us, too!

[Human Animal Hybrids Rule!]

I don't see what the big fuss is. These machines are just glorified Cuisinarts.

[Tyrone]

What are you talking about? Cuisinarts don't serve Asahi on tap.