When Is The Risk Too High?

09/29/2009

A family in my town recently suffered a terrible tragedy - a type of thing that makes you catch your breath when you hear of it.   The type of thing that makes you think, “Oh, I’m so glad that’s not me.”  They type of thing that has proven to be a very popular topic of discussion among many parents here.

A 17 year old boy  - one of a set of football-playing triplets - was injured in a varsity scrimmage at school a few weeks ago.  He got hit, suffered a critical spinal injury, cracking a vertebra, leaving him paralyzed.  He’s getting ready to begin a long road of  extensive rehabilitation at a facility out of state.  He’s just 17 years old.  It’s just too horrible to think about.  Unfortunately, the family knows a lot about what lies ahead for them because last year, another of the triplets suffered the same injury, cracking the same vertebra.  But he, fortunately and miraculously, recovered.  Wow.  What are the chances of that? - to have two brothers suffer the exact same injury?   They seem pretty slim.  Obviously, everyone is hoping and praying that this boy will be as lucky as his brother and make a full recovery, although it’s said that his injury is worse.  Can you even imagine living through this - not once, but twice?!  It’s just incomprehensible.  Yet the most shocking aspect of all - at least for me - is that the third triplet is still playing football.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand this.  I know that life has risks and I believe that risks need to be taken, but isn’t this risk just too damn high?  We’re talking about 17 year old kids here.  And, after all is said and done, it is just a game.

I’m in no way advocating putting kids in a plastic bubble.  Really, I’m not.  And I think it’s so important for kids - or anybody - to face the challenges that life puts in front of them with action and not with fear-driven inaction.  But I also believe that sometimes the odds are too high to take and no matter how much you may want to do something, sometimes the best thing to do is just walk away.  After the injuries to his two brothers, would anybody question this boy hanging up his helmet?  I would applaud it.  I expected it!  The father said that his son doesn’t regret playing football and that he has a tremendous passion for the sport.  I wonder if he’d be feeling the same way if his luck had been different - if he were now paralyzed, living in a wheelchair?  He’s a very lucky boy indeed and should channel his passions elsewhere.

We can’t live in constant fear of the “what if”.  God, we’d never leave the house.  But what about when the “what if” becomes more like a “when”?  Right now, with the score at 2 out of 3, I’d say it’s a risk not worth taking.  I followed our high school football team.  I  went to all the pep rallies.  Went to most of the games.  I knew many guys on the team who truly felt as if playing ball was it for them and they envisioned their future as a famous athlete.  Needless to say, that didn’t happen for any of them.  Many of them never played football again after high school.  I understand the need for athletes - or any driven individual - to follow their heart.  But sometimes maybe listening to your head is better than listening to your heart.

I’ve been really thinking about the mother of these boys.  How does she feel when her son is out on the field playing?  I have to imagine she is frightened out of her wits.  She has to be a stronger person than me.  I’m sweating just thinking about it!  How about the coaches and his teammates?   Are they worried?  Is it just a coincidence that both boys suffered the same injury or is there some genetic disposition that makes them more susceptible?  Medical tests say there is no inherent risk.  But will it matter?  If he were to get hurt, will it matter that it was just ‘bad luck‘?   Will they think then that he shouldn’t have played?  Won’t it be too late then?  Is it worth the risk? 

I’m not sure why this story has affected me as strongly as it has.  I don’t know the family and I don’t have children who play football or other contact sports.  But I literally can’t stop thinking about it.   I keep wondering if it will be worth it for this son to continue playing football.  Keep wondering why he’s not afraid; why he doesn’t think that it’s just a game and that he should find something else to do after school.  Wondering how the family would cope if he met the same fate as his brothers.  Wondering why the heck he is still playing ball.  Wondering when the risk will be too high.

Comments

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[danny]

there is a reason the 17 year old boy is not in a wheelchair. There is a reason behind everything. I think the reason he is fully recovered is to continue his passion 4 football. The boy already knew people get injured playing football, but does that stop him from following his dreams?

[Janet]

Oh John, none of this is simple!! I agree with you completely about the aura of football and think it plays a huge and important role for the players and families. But in this instance, the fact that they MIGHT have 3 boys suffer the same life-altering injury, makes the risk just too high. We're not talking about a sprained ankle here. I have to believe that the rest of your life is more important than a football game. I feel so bad for this family and hope that my fears are completely unfounded and that all goes well for the boys.

[JohnI]

Funny... Living in the same town, hearing the same story, I've had similar thoughts.

The unknown part for me, and the thing that allowed me to cut the family some slack, is that I don't know if there was some evident weakness in the triplets' necks that made them more susceptible to such an injury or if the two brothers suffering similar fate was just unfortunate and tragic coincidence.

Certainly, if the former is the case, one must question the wisdom of allowing the third brother to continue to play. As I'm sure the parents have considered such a possibility, I've got to believe it's not the case. And, if not, then perhaps the third brother's risk is no different than that of countless other student athletes who choose the exhilaration of the sport (I played in High School too) despite the inherent risk.

I couldn’t find High School statistics but Football is THE most dangerous college sport – followed closely by Hockey. Both are “collision” sports with plenty of action and hugely popular among young men. Wrestling, Lacrosse, Soccer, and, perhaps surprisingly, Men’s Gymnastics form the next most dangerous group with about half the injury rate of Football and Hockey.

But Football is also the quintessential High School sport. Night games, bands, lights, cheerleaders, rallies, mascots… No other teams have the same support. The thrill of being part of that is a huge draw. Telling a young man that he can’t be part of because he MIGHT get hurt isn’t simple. But I'm still glad my kids play soccer.

[Ania]

I had a very similar incident happen to me 2 weeks ago. I was at a high school football game and watched a player get taken off the field on a stretched and into an ambulance. His injuries seemed severe to me. I could not stop thinking about the player and the other mothers sitting in the crowd watching their sons continue to play. Thank goodness my daughter was only playing in the band!