Life After Loss: Job Loss (Part 3)

07/18/2011

It is often very difficult to experience rejection from the job world without letting it get you down. This is quite common. Feeling unwanted as well as questioning one’s sense of meaning and purpose in life is normal. However, there are things you can do to combat these feelings.

1) Stay connected to people in your life -Studies show that feeling connected and cared for can not only help you recover from medical and mental health problems but also help in preventing these problems. Making an effort to meet with friends and family on a weekly basis has immense benefits. Getting out and planning activities makes us feel better in the long run. Try to meet with one or two friends weekly.

2) Avoid self-blame and criticism - The next time you are bombarded by a negative thought, grab a notebook. Challenge each negative thought by coming up with two or three statements that are positive.

For example: "I was a lousy worker - that’s why they fired me." Think of three exceptions to that thought.

For example: "Actually, I was the first one in the office," or "I was always willing to help a colleague when needed," or "I helped raise revenues the first quarter."

3) The Social Network - We know a lot of jobs are found by word-of-mouth. Make an effort to have lunch with a former colleague at least once a week. This keeps you in the loop of job openings, reminds people you are still looking for a job, keeps you on top of what is happening in the industry and also widens your support system. Reminding people of your presence keeps your name on the top of their “go-to list” when your services may be needed. 

Get digital: LinkedIn and Facebook are also good ways to network (though there is no substitute for face to face exchanges). Also, take advantage of informational interviews - you never know where it may lead.

4) Follow up with leads - Perhaps you’ve been told that there is no job available for you at the moment, but that things are in the “works”. Maybe you’ve even reached out a few times but have been told that nothing is ready yet. You soon stop reaching out – partly because you feel discouraged and partly to avoid being a pest. Don’t feel like a pest. Many times the employers are simply too busy to reach out to you and are glad that you’ve kept in contact with them. Don’t personalize things when you don’t hear from them. If you’re still being encouraged to keep in touch with them from time to time, then by all means, do it.

5) Physical health - Keep regular exercise and sleep habits. Avoid the temptation to drink more alcohol or eat more than usual. This is very typical for a lot of people who are feeling down - they turn to quick pick-me-ups. However, there is a tendency for these habits to become destructive.

6) Feel like a master - What are you good at? Painting, photography, gardening, home improvement, knitting, jewelry making, baking? Are you good at being a PTA parent? Everyone is good at something - absolutely everyone. It is so important during this period of time to feel a sense of accomplishment from something that matters to you.

7) Stay in the game - This can be everything from freelancing to temp work - you never know when the opportunity to become a consultant can lead to permanent employment. Also, don’t be afraid to go back to school - continuing education, additional certification. Volunteer - it keeps you intellectually engaged;  it's an opportunity to network; it helps to promote your personal brand. Studies show that regular volunteers may even live longer! Become a mentor - Keep your profile out there. Your mentee may be your next job lead.

8) The Resource Room - For many, this term may invoke traumatic childhood memories of being sent to this room to get extra help in classes. As an adult, it means taking advantage of ALL your resources. This may range the gamut from career centers, fairs and outplacement agencies to even seeking financial resources or unemployment benefits. A study shows that due to unemployment, a staggering number of Americans (16.6 % or 50 million individuals - many of whom are in the middle class) are experiencing food gaps, leading to a higher use of food banks. Don't be afraid to use these resources!

9) Recharge your batteries - Take a daily break from the rejection. Rejection can drain us; it leads to anger, feeling bitter, hopeless and resentful. Thoughts like "I’ll never find a job; I’m doomed; I’m not good enough" will creep up. After completing a series of heavy interviewing, give yourself a break for a few days. It will help you come back refreshed with a renewed sense of motivation.

10) Get help - If things are spiraling - things like low mood, low energy, avoiding people, low motivation, loss of pleasure in things you used to enjoy - seek out help. Increased alcohol consumption or binge eating may also be a sign of an underlying depression or anxiety problem. Signs of depression, in severe cases, can include feelings of worthlessness - even suicide. Consult your physician who may be able to help with medications if needed, but also a referral to a psychiatrist and/or therapist.

 

More on Coping with Loss:

Dr. Varma in the News: Middle Class Seeks Aid

How to Cope with Loss

10 Ways to Build Resilience

How Depression Works

 

Photo Source: Thinkstock/Creatas 

Comments

[Manhattan movers]

Thank you for your tips! These are very helpful especially in this economy wherein more and more people lose their jobs. Don't blame yourself. You need the break to recharge your batteries and search for better opportunities.

[autism lawyer]

First of all, thank you for posting such an informative article. In the recent economic meltdown, many have lost their jobs. Some of them were gravely affected. In fact, some have developed depression.

[apartment for rent in makati]

Losing your job means losing your source of income. If you're living in an apartment, you are probably worried how to pay your rent without a job. This may cause serious anxiety and panic in a person which may lead to mental disorders. Your tips can help people cope up with their job loss.