Am I Still the Same Person I Think I Am?

May 26, 2008

I’m sitting on a train heading to my parents’ house from my new home in Toronto, Canada. I’m getting close to the time that I will have to say goodbye to them, but this isn’t a goodbye trip. I haven’t ridden the train since I was a kid, but it used to be my way of getting around to see my family before I had a car and could drive. It’s a cool feeling knowing that I can decide to go see my parents on a whim. It’s the whole reason I moved back to Canada. As my days are becoming more and more consumed with thoughts of lions, I can’t even begin to understand how I got to where I am right now.

I mean that in a grand scale kind of way, like, “I really have the best life I can imagine for myself. But also, and more pressing right now, in a “how did I become a city slicker who is preparing to go into the bush, when I have been a wild man who prepares to go into the city for so long?” kind of way.  Of all the second-guessing I have done in my life, wondering if I can give up my family life, social life and comfortable life has never even crossed my mind, until now.

It’s a funny type of second-guessing, because I know I CAN do it; my fear is, once I am out there will I WANT to do it? My whole life I have wanted to live in the bush, and each time I was out there, I have wanted to stay. That’s not entirely true; I wanted to stay most of the time. I won’t lie and say a hot shower and a hotter woman hasn’t crept on to my wish list some evenings alone by the campfire. But the thought of me being out in the bush, and not wanting to be there, would mean me having to mentally redefine myself. I would then have to come to terms with the fact that with my age and level of comfort I have become a city slicker who visits the bush and not the guy that I think I am — a person who feels most at home in the wild, with wild animals. I don’t want to be a city slicker.

The story of how I got here is probably less interesting but hopefully understandable. Three years ago, I was in New York promoting another lion project that I had done. In fact, it was the project in which I developed some of the methods that I will be using on this lion project. I was on a talk show, where I met one of the hosts. She was beautiful woman who I had an instant chemistry with. We fell in love almost immediately. With my no fear, take every journey life offers you attitude, we moved in together. So there I found myself, moving from Africa with a pride of lions to New York City with a jungle full of people. It was my worst nightmare.

From that point two and a half years ago, I set up my life so that I could go on projects all over the world and come face to face with every wild animal my heart desired. I would then rush home and live my Manhattan lifestyle — fancy gyms, a huge loft apartment, trendy dinners, media parties, etc. It was the most truly polar-opposite lifestyle anyone could live. But I made it work.

I went on living that way for some time, until the relationship went away. That’s the polite way for me to write, we broke up. At the time the one thing that I really needed was to spend time with my close friends and family. I hadn’t lived in Canada since 2000. So I picked up the remainder of what was my city life and moved to Toronto. I bought a house with two of my best friends and began trying to make up for lost time. I continued to go on animal projects, but came home and focused on family and friends.

Now, I just left some of my friends/just left some friends and am sitting on a train to go see my parents. Every thought of a lion has me wondering how I got here. I am a two and a half year city veteran, happy as hell and wondering if I am still the same person I think I am — a person who feels most at home in the wild, with wild animals.

Well, ready or not, we’re about to find out!

Comments

[Stephen Boyle]

I am absolutely infuriated with what you are doing. I fail to see any valid reason for anyone to interferre with wild animals, other than you wanting your 15 minutes in the spotlight. I see no conservatory or contributory value to the conservation of nature and wildlife. Take a leason from your african brothers...have great respect for the land and nature around you in africa. She is not a forgiving place.

[Christine]

Hi Dave,

I am infuriated with your show "Into The Pride." You are disrupting the predatory nature of these lions and the necessity that they not become "friendly" with humans. I find your show incredibly irresponsible and given your expertise, I would expect you to know better. You remind me of Timothy Treadwell although he did not have the expertise that you do and therefore, you should be more ashamed of yourself. There's a reason why wild lions should remain cautious about people. Your show gives off the wrong message and your irresponsibility is highly narcissistic of you.

[Randi]

I personally think that this article of chosen word is quite comprehendabel. This is a highly undiscoverable aquaintence in the likelyhood of configurational science. If this ,indeed, does occur, then i am forced to ,by my further udo...have nothing yet but to initialize my hypotenuse and configuration by determining that this man is a induspicable liar!

[Talia]

hi! im talia and im 11 years old from iowa. i love your show. i think your REALLY brave to be out there risking your life with those cats!!! i have a cat of my own her name is lion. ( coincadince ) but shes isnt as big as a lion. how are you? is the experiance really cool? i hope someday i can be surrounded with nature and animal just like you. thanx david.

[brian]

Dave i think you are trying to tell about the life of the lions. I really take that into consideration. What needs to happen is people have to care about endangered spieces. I wish everyone can read this. Including the hunters that hunt lions. This is a artcile that i enjoy to see people that care about endangered spieces. The poucher and hunters should know that they are hurting the population of the lions. This is a story that i think can save endagered animals.

[ming quach]

Dave,you need to look at the big picture! Do you realize your ignorance is endangering lions? While you are filming this tastless show of yours, you are never in "real" danger are you? Try being out there with lions ALONE! Now, thats a film worth watching! What you are doing is playing games with lions for t.v. which will and maybe already has gotten lions killed. I know a little about film making, editing, cut scenes, bloopers etc, You only show what you want the people to see.How many times were you almost cat-chow, and they had to shoot the lion? not with the camera? my advise to you, leave the LIONS ALONE!You can't control nature, Who do you think you are? I no longer watch Animal Planet because of your selfish actions and stupidity. From Tacoma Washington ...Scott

[Cellulean]

I hope your show is going great! I love what you are doing.

[cellulite cream]

I know it is going to be great

[scott quach]

mingquach@yahoo.com >>>Dave,you need to look at the big picture! Do you realize your ignorance is endangering lions? While you are filming this tastless show of yours, you are never in "real" danger are you? Try being out there with lions ALONE! Now, thats a film worth watching! What you are doing is playing games with lions for t.v. which will and maybe already has gotten lions killed. I know a little about film making, editing, cut scenes, bloopers etc, You only show what you want the people to see.How many times were you almost cat-chow, and they had to shoot the lion? not with the camera? my advise to you, leave the LIONS ALONE!You can't control nature, Who do you think you are? I no longer watch Animal Planet because of your selfish actions and stupidity. From Tacoma Washington ...Scott

[Ricky]

Hi i just wanted to say i like your show and what your doing

[Tracy]

I know,I know..I'm late to respond but have never missed one of the first three shows and am ready for the forth this evening to come. By the way..can't wait either!! I wanted to express my feelings that I am very proud of the team as well as Dave for the great job you all have completed in this task. My only regret is that I was really and truly saddened to read up and finally figured out just exactly why these beautiful creatures are in the danger they are. My hat is off to you Dave and Team for stepping up to the challenge but am sad that you really did not make it so very clear as to why these are the so called "Last Chance Lions". Okay, I got that it was a "Private Reserve" but..to see the website of the "HUGE" "Resort" and "Beautifully" kept grounds of the "LODGE" located right on a "Major Watering Hole" actually broke my heart!!! Just how far do we truly have to push these wonderful creatures just to make a buck ( I.E. LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEAR..OH MY)!?!? I would "Love" for someone to please really tell us just how in the world did these lions actually get on this so called "Private Reserve" as well as why, along with all the other wonderful creatures? No one seems to be "Man" enough to really tell the truth and speak out for the "Beast"(not pointing fingers at any one person just pretty much everyone in general). Just how on earth do you get "Permission" to "Own" an "Entire" "Pride" from the wild anyway? Who has the right to do so just to make a buck from a few pictures being taken and a fancy meal being consumed? I think that is why I decided to write my feelings on this matter. I respect Dave and the team for what they did and I do hope that the pride will be safe for many years to come but I also would like to have someone tell the whole truth and maybe expose these places that really do exist in the exploitation of all great creatures just to make a few dollars from the camera's,over crowded jeeps,trucks of trash,foods,supplies, ect.. coming and going in and out of "Their ( the animals )" "World". Sure hope the lions have really great tooth brushes to keep their smiles in check. Would hate to see them not jump at the crack of the "Man's" whip just to make some "Fat Cat" richer and a bunch of people travel across the world to make a group of wild cats mind for "Their" "Greed" and "Enjoyment". I truly THANK YOU Dave for the great series and for making "Maybe" a few people really stop and think before getting on a plane just to take a picture of a wonderful "Wild" creature that was ment to be just that.."Wild" and actually get to stay wild and away from prying eyes. Be well~ Tracy

[scott quach]

Dave,you need to look at the big picture! Do you realize your ignorance is endangering lions? While you are filming this tastless show of yours, you are never in "real" danger are you? Try being out there with lions ALONE! Now, thats a film worth watching! What you are doing is playing games with lions for t.v. which will and maybe already has gotten lions killed. I know a little about film making, editing, cut scenes, bloopers etc, You only show what you want the people to see.How many times were you almost cat-chow, and they had to shoot the lion? not with the camera? my advise to you, leave the LIONS ALONE!You can't control nature, Who do you think you are? I no longer watch Animal Planet because of your selfish actions and stupidity. From Tacoma Washington ...Scott

[Brianna]

Salmoni, your head is getting bigger than a male lion's.. Lots of silly girls on Twitter contributing to it; & flirting back now seems to be your main focus, while disregarding 'tweets' geared toward the animals, their plight, etc.

Better keep yourself in check Salmoni, & remember what put u in the spotlight to begin with. Your swelling ego is getting to be a bit much, & I have removed u from my 'following' list. Bet I won't be the only one.

[Matthew]

Bah, don't listen to Sam or Rodney man (if they'd paid attention to the beginning of the show, then they'd know that your the last chance these lions have). The world needs more people like you. It's people like you that inspire me to continue seeking a career in Zoology, and Animal Training. Keep up the great work.

[rodney]

Animal Planet needs to drop this show, it's not a show about lions it's a show about some weird guy who is going to get lions shot when they attack him.

Drop the show animal planet.

[Sam]

Don't you think it's a bit selfish, what you're doing? Have you heard of the expression that 'one cannot observe an experiment/study without being part of the experiment/study'? Why go bother animals living in the wild? Sure, it all sounds very glorious and righteous when it's done in the name of 'finding out more about nature', but I find what you and many others are doing repulsive. I just saw the episode 'Two Alphas' and why take 'Fugitive' away from what is necessary his fate/path? If he's meant to be attacked/defeated/killed by Brutus, then that IS part of the ecosystem, that IS part of nature, that IS part of evolution. The best thing a animal behaviorist can do is to observe animal behavior without interruption from afar. How could you say that you're teaching the lions a lesson by showing them people are not there to hurt them? Are you kidding? If something was to happen to you, if the lion actually got to you(sorry, your ATV might have a faster top speed, but the lion's zero to 60's much faster then your ATV's), can you imagine the harm the incident would do to these wild animals? It'll be lion attacks man unprovoked headlined everywhere! Mankind needs to leave wild animals alone! People wonder why animals attack humans without prompting, but what people need to understand is that if you leave food around for bears at a park, for example, all the time, they'll figure out that human=food, and if they see a tent and wanted to go investigate and can't find food, but see a human lying down or in a submissive position, what do you think is going to happen? And how can you 'scold' Cleo for protecting her cubs? She is, after all, doing what nature intends her to do as the mother. You must not have kids. If you did, would you permit a lion or lioness, not even charging, but just leisurely walking up to your baby boy or baby girl without acting the slightest protective? Would you even allow a stray dog to do that to your own newborn? What you said on the show was very irresponsible! I'm glad to see that you're able to find your inner self and had some amazing personal journey, but I also find it shameful that it's at the expensive of mocking what nature intends to do and for the sake for shock value for television. This is not a show about lions, this is a show of someone who loves the sound of his own voice.

[bio major 1996]

Big cudos for your efforts, great way to make a difference. A man putting his life on the line with the most informed interaction is impressive. You do make a impact for all who are intersted in the behavior of these magnificant animals. I hope to see these creatures in person one day. Keep safe.

[Tammy]

Dave:

As a little girl, I fell in love with Elisa the Lioness in "Born Free". I have been fasinated with large cats ever since. Lions, Tigers and Leopards. When going to the zoo or wild life animal park, I would watch the cats all day. I am amazed of their strength and their beauty. My dream in life, is to do what you are doing with this pride. I am having my dream come true through you and watching these wonderful creators. I have watched two episodes so far and have it programmed to record when another episode is on because I don't want to miss a thing. I don't know what will happen at the end of the 6 months. But you can count on me that I will be crying......

[Anna]

Haven't you heard that saying about people and their homes? "You can take the man out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the man" Or "You can take the man out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the man!"

Either way just insert "bush" or "wild" for you and it's the same deal. We have what we love; and that will come to us like second nature (or at least we'll work on it until it does!) :-)

[Nathalie]

Dear Dave, I find it amazing that you took such a journey into the middle of lion country. I know that for some people, your journey must seem unfathomable, in fact, I cant say I would do what you are doing now or did, but I will tell you that I can relate to the passion and love that you have for these amazing and magnificent creatures. I'm an animal lover myself and am very fond of the country although I live in a city. I can relate to how you dont quite feel at home there, but nevertheless make it work. I, for one, am taken away by horses, among many other animals, and when I am around one, just watching them gallop is enough to make me happy so I can more or less understand how you feel towards lions. I wish you the best on all your projects and hope GOD keeps you safe, although I must add that you should turn to HIM for some answers, maybe He can help you figure out where your heart really belongs.

[baybay]

Dear David i hope you had the time of your life while you spent time in the wild. i love your work you are so bravE!!!

[amet]

you are the best I'll use you blog in our lessons

[andrea]

dear david ,hope you had a great experience spending time in the wild again.But home is where your heart is .the wilderness is the heart of lion territory,and i think they dont mind you visiting,and i hope you always will.your not packing up your dreams ,your just dreaming a different one,moments do pass,look after your home ,family ,fr iends,and ALL THE WILD ANIMALS TOO x im very proud of your achievments,and the man that you are david,you are very special,you always make me smile,and remember ,absence makes the heart grow stronger,and variety is the spice of life,choice,....something the lions ,dont have? keep up your amazing project x have fun & take care x

[I'mjustsayin]

Wow...still mulling over what to say other than how cool to read from a man who is open and honest (you have to keep some things to yourself cause its not all our bidness!) about feelings and life and goals. I commend you. I chose a different path and have spent some time wondering why I gave up on dreams but then I am very very blessed and smack myself. But I have others who rely on me....settle on not settling

[Hockeyfan]

I think it's great that you are taking this personal journey. I'm about to embark on my own personal journey and look forward to reading your experiences and comparing them to mine. I am not relocating as you, but I am finding myself and my purpose. It's a never-ending journey, but one of my rewards when I get to a certain place in my life is to visit Africa so I anxiously await your blogs to hear about the animals and the country. Best of luck on your journey and stay safe.