Trapped at the Doctor's: Endless Waiting, With Two Four-Year-Olds and a String of Work Emergencies

11/19/2009

The tired-looking woman at the doctor’s office shoves a towering stack of paperwork at me. After relentless haranguing by the boys' school, we’re here at the D.C. branch of a national HMO to get their age-four shots.
 

And it doesn’t bode well that we’re greeted with at least half a trunk’s worth of dead tree. (Can’t they just Xerox what I filled out last time? It’s exactly the same.)

When I’m finally done furiously writing what I’m sure nobody will ever read—I’m reminded of those college blue-book tests—I plunk it down on the front desk.

A nurse looks up, calls out, “You know, there are four people in front of you. Gonna be a while.”

“WHAT? Why so many in front of me? How did this happen?” As it is, it’s a bad day to be missing work. We’re in the middle of 18 health care-reform-related emergencies, I’ve taken on a huge new project, and then there are the usual Web fires.

“Dunno. Just the schedule today.” The nurse just looks at me, impassive. All she’s missing is the bubble gum to snap. “You wanna reschedule?”

“No!  I had to upend my schedule for this as it is! I just hope it goes fast!” I stride back to my seat, fuming.

For the next two hours—yes, two hours!—we wait. While I frantically try to schedule meetings on my BlackBerry—thinking, there has to be a better way than finger-punching these microscopic keys—the kids throw stuff around the waiting room and periodically dive-bomb me.

When we're finally shown to an examining room, a nurse takes some readings, scribbles on a chart, and leaves. And then….you guessed it, we wait some more. At least another half hour more.

It’s past the boys’ lunch time, well into their nap time, and they’re getting VERY CRANKY. And now I'm supposed to undress them and get them into those freezing-cold paper things. They don't comply.

Bzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzzt! My BlackBerry starts going bananas:  “EMERGENCY: Link going to porn site—FIX IMMEDIATELY!”

Well this is perfect timing. My eyelid twitches as I watch the responses pop: “Where’s the link? WTF?? What porn site?? Can Bridget fix it?”

No! Bridget can’t fix it. She’s stuck in prison, AKA the doctor’s office, trying to convince her distraught four-year-old to don a paper dress. And, unfortunately, the worst is yet to come.

In walks the doctor. She’s perfectly nice. Just two hours and 45 minutes late. She does a quick exam of both boys, signs off on their shots, and hands me referrals for an allergist (for T-Rex) and an ophthalmologist (for both of them). Done!  Well, until somebody has to haul them to all those appointments.

Today, all we have left is the big event: the shots. But still. We. Have. To. Wait.

By the time the nurse arrives with her tray of doom, the kids are pelting each other with tongue depressors. I’ve long since given up.

Next is the part every parent dreads:  I have to hold down each of my children while a stranger sticks ginormous needles into their legs. In this case, five needles a kid. When she’s done, both boys are crying boulder-size tears.

“Can we go now?” I ask, head pounding, angry at the whole situation.

“No,” says the nurse. “I still gotta do your paperwork.”

The door slams shut, and I’m left with my howling, half-dressed kids. Perfect time for my ShackleBerry to start spazzing again. “Bzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzzt! BZZZZZZZZZT! Contract finalization meeting: 15 minutes.” Uh. No way. Not gonna make it. And no, I'm not going to call in from the doctor's office.

I turn to my hungry, tired, sniffling, needle-struck kids.

“Guys,” I say. “You know what we’re going to do? We’re not going to wait any more. We’re going to go get you some stickers. Right now!” The wailing stops for a second. “Stick-owz?” asks Punk hopefully.  I take them by the hands and march them off to find a nurse. Or tech. Or someone with access to stickers. I don’t give a continental hoot who.

It takes a while—everyone’s at lunch or something— but we finally track down our shots nurse. “We need some stickers please. NOW!!”

“Well, OK,” she says grudgingly.

“And may I also have those papers? We’ve been here over four hours.”

She hands them over, somewhat sheepishly, I think (I later find out some are missing), and we bolt. Enough is enough.

Driving the kids to school, feeding them chicken sandwiches and cupcakes I scrounged from a food cart, I make an executive decision: I am going to switch us to more expensive health insurance. Immediately if not sooner.

There is no reason to wait four and a half hours to get five lousy shots. That’s almost an hour a shot.

Comments

[AmyMusings]

I think something's wrong with your comments, Bridget! I left a good one today. It was really awesome, actually.
It was the very best comment I've ever written!

Your blog ate it.

It was something about a 4 hour wait on HALLOWEEN to get seen and we ended up leaving without being seen bc it was time for trick or treat and my kid had friends at our house waiting for him.

[penny]

I have a similar story, Bridget. A few years ago I was referred to an orthopedic specialist about my back problems. With my appointment at 10:30 a.m., I took the morning off work and arrived half an hour early as requested. After a 2-hour wait, I was finally escorted to that cold, lonely examining room where I waited another hour (with nary a magazine in sight), by which time I'd had to call off work for the afternoon and my anger was peaking dangerously. I decided it was time for action. So, I emerged from that cold room and sat my shivering paper-gown-clad self down on the floor of a hallway busy with nurses, who stared at me in bewilderment and asked me what was wrong. "I'm having a personal sit-in," I told them, and explained why if asked. I didn't get much more than blank stares from any of them. Even the doctor seemed unimpressed. I guess they were all born too late to experience the sixties. But I hope they talked about that crazy patient afterwards and gave some thought to my one-woman protest.

[fey]

Why are we being subjected to these endless waits? I asked a doctor this question recently and was told that over-booking is pretty standard practice. This eliminates down time for the doctor and his/her staff in case of no-shows, last-minute cancellations, etc. Also, some waits may be caused by urgent walk-ins that have to be seen immediately. But I agree that the wait times are often pretty ridiculous and, in cases where they're running several hours behind, a simple phonecall from the receptionist telling you of the delay would be a great help to most of us.

[Cyberchondriacmom]

Amy, I'll need to check on my comments functionality -- wonder why it ate your comment. not good.

Penny, I love the sit-in to protest waiting. Why didn't I think of that? Definitely a good tactic for next time. I could have the boys sit in with me. As if they'd sit still.

A friend of mine at work said that once, when she was kept waiting for hours in the freezing examining room, she called her doc on her cell and said, hey, I've been waiting for you for XX hours. Are you coming?? He was right over.

[sng]

I like Penny's gutsy sit-in but really think your response is more effective in long run, Cybermom. I mean, if our hairdresser or lawyer or accountant or anyone else with whom we made an appointment overbooked and kept us waiting like the docs do, we'd fire them and go elsewhere, wouldn't we? Which is what you are doing. I only hope you're planning to send your doc a letter explaining why you're moving on, or - better yet - send her the link to this web site so she can read your blog for herself!

[fiona]

Five shots at once? Can't believe they did that to your poor guys. That just seems brutal. What were they thinking?

[gigi]

I've heard there are some possible dangers to giving a bunch of immunizations at once - autism being one of these. What's your opinion on this? What does the research say?

[Cyberchondriac Mom]

On the too many shots at once Q, a search of the Web on respected medical sites shows no objections to multiple shots.

In fact, the Illinois Dept of Public Health site, http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/pgci.htm, says the following: "Vaccines are as useful when combined with other vaccines as they are alone and carry no greater risk for harmful side effects. In addition to being safe, there are two reasons for giving children multiple vaccinations during the same visit. First, we want to immunize children early to protect them at a time when they are more likely to become sick. Second, giving several vaccinations at one time means fewer trips to your health care provider and may be less traumatic for your child."

OK, guess that makes sense. But five shots at once still seems like a lot. And the fevers the kids got afterwards (103 degrees) were too high IMHO.

On the autism risk Q, The American Academy of Family Physicians site, http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/healthy/vaccines/028.htm, emphatically states that the research suggests no autism risk of vaccinations.

I remember posing these Qs to my doctor friends on twitter and got no response. My sense is that the medical community is loathe to criticize immunizations in any way because it doesn't want to fuel the anti-immunization sentiment among some parents.

Physicians worry that if too many parents stop immunizing their kids, we could end up with outbreaks of some very dangerous and deadly childhood diseases, like polio, diptheria, and measles.

And I see their concern.

[gigi]

Thanks for the info. I worried after seeing a Larry King show where several parents of autistic kids appeared pretty convinced about the multiple shots causing their kids' problems. I wonder why your boys had so many shots though. The MMR measles, mumps, rubella) shot should be one shot not three, surely(?).

[Cyberchondriac Mom]

Actually yeah, the MMR, measles, mumps, and rubella, shot was all-in-one. But they had to get the other four-year-old shots besides: Polio, DTaP, Varivax, and then the swine flu shot on top of that.

[charles]

Not sure if the shots-all-at-once approach is better or worse, seems there is a case for both yes and no; but thanks for debunking the vaccination/autism myth. Last thing the world needs is new epidemics of easily preventable and previously conquered diseases, driven by nothing more than ignorance, fear, and inaction.

[gigi]

So your kids were immunized against 7 diseases at once! Seems like overkill to me (excuse the pun)... And despite the fact that long waits at doctors' offices (particularly specialists) are becoming so common, overbooking should absolutely not be part of any pediatrician's practice. I mean, the most humble of child care workers knows that you can't keep a small child waiting, and to keep two 4-year-olds - and their mom - waiting 4 1/2 hours is something that sounds reportable to the Board of Pediatricians or whatever's out there that cares about malpractice...!

[Cyberchondriacmom]

yeah gigi, I think that's what doctor's offices really need to understand -- you can't keep small children waiting for hours and not expect complete chaos.
Bottom line: it shouldn't be done.

[sng]

Next time take a box of paints or markers with you and let the kids loose in the waiting room with them. Maybe you'll get quicker service that way!

[Marcie]

omg, i can't believe i have this to look forward to! thanks for the warning.

[Cyberchondriacmom]

when it comes down to it, you really need to live next door to a pediatrician when you have small kids.

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