If I Were President There’d Be Child Care at Work

08/21/2009

It’s what every new, work-at-office mom dreads more than anything. More than the high-stakes PowerPoint presentation that freezes after five minutes. The crabby colleague kerfuffle. The string of reply-all e-mails that’s lost its beginning.

The grim reality of it sets in when, right in the rosy glow of second trimester, right after you’re finally done with the puking, your mother says, “So, it’s about time you started researching child care, huh?”

Oh crud. Oh no.

Oh yes, there’s no way around it. You’re faced with the dreaded prospect of Finding Good Childcare (FGC).

You put out feelers to your female colleagues with kids, and the news is not good. “Yeah, good luck with that,” is a typical response. Fellow moms are sympathetic, for sure, but also war-torn.  They, typically, have been battling with FGC for years—trying this and that, missing work, and worrying about being mommy-tracked.

Consider the options: You can hire a nanny for the price of another mortgage, especially when you add the insurance and vacation time that’s becoming standard.

Or you can try for an au pair, if you have the extra bedroom, a chunk of change, and the willingness to bet on someone who might think taking your child to watch beer pong is a great idea.

Then there are the nanny shares with other parents, which can save you money but mean a lot of schedule juggling. And if the nanny gets sick or quits? Whoops, you’re SOL.

That leaves one other FGC option: daycare. Ugh. We're talking staff shortages and germs passed around like hot sauce at a chili cook-off. And every time your kid picks up one of those germs, you have to miss work (more on this later).

Another problem with daycare is the mad daily dash to drop off and pick up the kids—and if you're a minute late to collect them, you get fined!

Weighing these dismal options, a good many moms (and dads) decide to stay home with the kids. The benefits are obvious: Guaranteed quality child care. Bonding time. No worries about germs, sick days, traffic, fines, or beer pong.

I'm not saying there aren't also some…issues with staying home. The more time you spend with children under five, the higher your risk of saying things like, "don't spill that" and "no snacks before dinner" to your friends. But the main problem is money.  Many families can't afford to have one adult stay at home, even if that spouse does contract work or runs a side business. In up to 70 percent of families, both adults work outside the home.

So, here comes my pitch. (Drumroll please.) I propose that all employers offer on-site child care. It's the perfect solution: Parents would no longer obsess about FGC because their kids' caregivers would be in the same building.

Gone would be the frantic day-care runs and sick-kid days. The employer's child-care center could nurse sick children in a separate sick ward. And imagine the reduction in parents' guilt about working. They now could see their kids throughout the day. Heck, they could even have lunch with them.

But I know you're thinking this plan is whacked. So let me counter some of the obvious objections:

• Co-workers won't want annoying kids running the halls. Fair enough. But no worries because the kids would be in a separate area of the building. It could even be sound-proofed. And parents would have to visit them at the center, not the other way around.

• It would cost too much. Actually it could cost less, but it would likely take government backing in the form of incentives or subsidies to employers and cooperatives or exchanges. (I'm not saying government-run—for those worried about more rowdy townhall meetings.) Employers could also help fund it as a retention strategy—just like they do retirement and health benefits. And employees using it would pay into it.

• You can't have sick kids around healthy kids. You wouldn't. Sick kids would go straight to the sick ward, where they'd be nursed back to health. Meanwhile, mom and dad could be right around the corner to check on the kid and go to meetings.

Some companies are already doing on-site child care, without any external subsidies. They include AstraZeneca, Allstate, and Aflac, and I applaud them.

Seriously, workplace child care would have made all the difference to me over the past three years. Just this past week my husband and I took turns missing work when our three-year-old twins spiked fevers and puked repeatedly. Then daycare barred T-Rex from returning without a doctor's note because of an invisible rash and "swelling." (Personally, I just think they wanted a vacation.)

Stuff was blowing up at work the whole time that I had a toddler intermittently ralphing, spraying sugar all over the kitchen, and shooting hoops with a snow globe. Plus I worried I might be seen as playing the sick-kid card.

That's when I started dreaming about child care at work. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Who's with me?

Comments

[Jen Dawholl]

I'M WITH YOU BRIDGET!

[Marcie]

You know I'm totally with you! omg, that would be amazing if I could access at-work daycare.

[Yuleida Bassett]

Some good points!... HOWEVER!!!... No body should expect anybody to take a mother or father role when it comes to sick or healthy kids. Even if the sick children are in a different area with a nurse around, what then...when they all go home and parents start getting sick because of exposure.
And really?!?!...should we do anything different than what this couple had to do??? WE SHOULD NOT EXPECT ANYTHING DIFFERENT FROM PARENTS. This mother said:..."Seriously, workplace child care would have made all the difference to me over the past three years. Just this past week my husband and I took turns missing work when our three-year-old twins spiked fevers and puked repeatedly. Then daycare barred T-Rex from returning without a doctor's note because of an invisible rash and "swelling." (Personally, I just think they wanted a vacation.)"

SO I AM GLAD THEY HAD TO TAKE TURNS AND STAY WITH THEIR CHILDREN!!!

[Kate]

You've captured most of what I fear about parenthood, even "waiting in the wings." In DC, the FGC seems to start before actual conception - and for good reason! What will it take for "business" to see the light?

[Kate]

You've captured most of what I fear about parenthood, even "waiting in the wings." In DC, the FGC seems to start before actual conception - and for good reason! What will it take for "business" to see the light?

[Katie Bunker]

What a great plan! I would be curious to know if any lawmakers have or would back the incentives you mention--because without them, it's hard to imagine tons of employers following Aflac's example here. So many are cutting back on their health benefits and contributions to retirement anyway.

[sng]

Yuleida applauds parents who stay home and take care of their kids, especially when they're sick... But there's so little tolerance of that in the workplace. Amazing coincidence is I'm reading a book called Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner, and on page 242 the character Kelly reapplies for her old job after having a baby and is told by her supervisor Elizabeth: "Thing is, I have to really be able to depend on you. No poopy diaper emergencies, no my-baby-got-sick days"... Followed by the comment: Elizabeth had never had children. She liked to joke that she could barely commit to a coffee mug, so how could she even think of babies? ... Fits right in with this topic!

[Beth]

I am at stay at home parent who thinks child care in the work place is an incredible idea. But, please, not for sick kids.....ever. Sick kids need to be at home, curled up on their own couch with their own mom or dad caring for them. Sick kids should never go to daycare- not even one in the workplace.

In addition to the typical sick days, my husband's employer provides a few days a year as "sick kids days". That's a policy that makes sense.

[penny]

Is there such a thing as a nanny temp service?... so nannies could be called upon to nurse sick little ones at a moment's notice, sort of like substitute teachers? I do see that sometimes it's really hard for either parent to stay home with sick kids without causing a problem at work...

[Cyberchondriacmom]

In my ideal world, absolutely, a parent would be right there curled up with their sick kid, taking care of the kid, especially if the poor kid is really sick. It's so hard to see your child like that. Yes, there's no place a parent would rather be.

But unfortunately, the reality is that in the workplace, others are relying on you, so the responsibilities of work can't be ignored for too long. If they are, there is a price to be paid.

And what happens with day care is that your kid is usually not even sick any more -- they just have a mild cough or rash, something like that, and they're barred from going to day care until all sympoms are gone.

So as a parent, you have to miss work indefinitely until your child's symptoms disappear, even though your child seems 100% fine.

Penny's idea of an on-call nanny service for such situations is a good one, but then you are talking about bringing in a stranger your kid doesn't know. And who you don't know.

The thought of leaving somebody I don't know alone with my kid just doesn't sit right with me.

[penny]

Yeah, you're right, we can't expect every on-call nanny to be Mary Poppins complete with a spoonful of sugar... It's a tricky problem and the only ray of sunshine I can offer is that as kids get older so they're less likely to spike sudden fevers and have continual e/n/t problems. Generally speaking...

[popmom]

Kudos to the husband who took turns staying home with the sick kids! That should be the norm rather than the exception.

[care for sick kids]

One thing that hasn't been mentioned. Some children's hospitals and health centers offer special day care for kids who are sick. It isn't an ideal option due to cost, but if you have a sick child that needs looking after and absolutely can't miss work (very important meeting, presentation, etc.),it can be a good choice. You might research and see if there are any programs like this in your area. This is generally a one or two day option.

[Melyssa]

Oh man Bridget....I wish you were President!

Is it too late to change my vote? (-: