All That Glitters is Not Gold in True Crime

December 23, 2008

I had planned on focusing on holiday crime today. There is certainly no shortage of content - from the convicted sex offender who volunteered to respond to children's letters to Santa, to the pedophile who tried to lure girls dressed as Santa – there were plenty of stories for me to choose from; however, in the course of my research I ended up clicking one link, then another, and before long I was off on subjects that had little to do with my initial plans.

One of the subjects I looked at was holiday suicide rates (yes, I realize it is not the most joyous of subjects). According to psychologist John McIntosh, it has been a long standing misconception that suicides go up during the holidays. Suicide rates are actually higher in the spring and summer. Interesting, but that is just the beginning of where I am going with this.

When I read about McIntosh's research, it made me think of a case I had worked on when I was writing for the Court Television Network's Crime Library – a case which I always found somewhat troubling. In remembering that case, I thought about the pain and suffering that the families must be experiencing right now with the holidays afoot.

The case I am referring to occurred in Belgrave, Australia, in 2007. When I first started to cover it, it was a missing person/runaway case involving two very bright and beautiful teenage girls. Unfortunately, the case took drastic turn and the girls were eventually found dead. The manner of their death was both unusual and heartbreaking.

Stephanie Gestier and Jodie Gater were two 16-year-old girls that both came from loving and caring families. The girls were close friends and spent a lot of their time hanging out together. If you saw one, you generally saw the other.

Unbeknownst to those closest to them, the girls had been suffering great emotional pain during the 2006-2007 school years.

The girls had dyed their hair and started wearing dark makeup to express themselves; however their choices had also made them prime targets for bullies. As a result, they silently suffered from relentless harassment and teasing.

On the morning of April 15, 2007, Stephanie and Jodie got permission from their parents to go shopping at a local mall.  Unaware of the girl's intentions, their parents had no qualms about them spending time together and sent them off on their way. 

As morning turned to night neither girl returned home, which caused both sets of parents to become concerned enough to file missing person reports with local police.

Given that both girls were active users of the Internet, detectives decided to check their online accounts for clues to their sudden disappearance. What they found caused them great concern.

On a profile Jodie maintained at the popular social networking website MySpace.com, she had posted two very troubling messages.

The title of her profile had been changed to read: "let steph n me b free." In the "about me" section, she left a chilling message for her boyfriend:

"i luv u sooo soo much allan.  miss u heaps and heaps.  Xoxoxo.  i will always remember u." [Sic throughout].

Jodie had also posted a disturbing poem at Deviantart.com. It read in part:

"I've had enough now. I'm going away. Leaving this place no matter what. If even death is the option. No matter what I'm leaving. No I'm not insane. let me out."

Stephanie also had a presence on the Internet and had maintained a profile at Vampirefreaks.com. In describing herself, she wrote:

"I'm not entirely sure what my life goals are yet. A life that's boring is a life without risk. I don't try to impress anyone but myself. I don't believe in anything. I'm Sweet I'm Cute. The truth is all Rotten."

Six days before her disappearance, Stephanie left a single entry in her online blog. It read:

"Lonely, need someone to talk to."

Police also discovered that Stephanie had posted messages to Chikmag.com. In one of her more recent posts she wrote:

"I have being feeling like life isn't worth living anymore, but I dunno [sic] if I have bipolar disorder for real?"

The search for Jodie and Stephanie ended approximately one week after their parents reported them missing. A man walking in Dandenong Ranges National Park stumbled upon both girls -- their bodies hanging in unison from the branches of an old tree. The girls had fashioned two homemade nooses and ended their own lives shortly after leaving their parents' houses.

We don't know what happened in Jodie and Stephanie's last moments, but for some reason I have never been able to escape the image of them holding hands - tears streaming down their faces - as they take their fatal plunge. It is a heartbreaking image that I wish I did not see every time I think of this case.

In the aftermath of their deaths it was revealed that the teasing and taunting Jodie and Stephanie had suffered at school had caused them to fall into a deep depression.  One of their friends, Gemma May, 19, told The Sydney Morning Herald that prior to their disappearance, Stephanie had told her about one recent incident that had occurred in a school locker room that greatly upset her.

"She was really upset," May said. "She said the school's not doing anything. She was crying. I hadn't seen someone that upset for a while. This was different. She was over it; she was so worn down, sick of it. You could see it in her face."

A letter attributed to Stephanie's mother was eventually posted to the Internet. It read in part:

"Stephanie, why didn't you tell me you were so upset? Why didn't you just come home? You had only just turned 16. You were always such a quiet girl who spent time listening to music and surfing the Internet. There is nothing that couldn't have been sorted out. You were my only child and can never be replaced. Bye bye my little girl."

According to recent studies, nearly one million people worldwide commit suicide every year. Another 10 to 20 million people fail in their attempts. In recent years there has been a sudden rise in teenage suicides in both the United States and abroad. Reasons for this vary; however, in many recent cases teens found themselves unable to cope with peer pressures and relentless teasing from bullies. In the book "Bullycide: death at playtime-An exposé of child suicide caused by bullying," authors Neil Marr and Tim Field spent three years researching cases of teen suicide caused by bullies. In 2001, they coined the term "Bullycide." Statistics are still being calculated to determine how many suicide cases are attributed to bullying; however, in the United States alone over 250,000 students a month report they have been physically attacked by bullies, leading some states to adopt anti-bullying laws.

I doubt this is the story you expected when you came here today, but this where I ended up. I learned long ago that some stories will tend to tell themselves when you least expect it.

Stephanie Gestier and Jodie Gater
1991 -2007

The next time you sit with your family I want you to cherish it. Afterwards, devote a moment of silence to all of the families out there that remain haunted by so many unanswered questions. Send them your blessings, keep them in your thoughts, and remember that they too were once in your shoes.

Related Links:
In Memory of Stephanie Gestier
Jodie Gater Online Memorial
www.bullycide.org

Photo Credits: Snowflake and Rope: Freeimages.co.uk; Stephanie and Jodie: Rach;

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission from Discovery Communications. All quotes must include a link back.

Comments

[Barb]

Very powerful story David, and you are right - not at all what I expected. However, it is a story that definitely needs to be told. "Bullycide" has become an epidemic in today's schools. I talk to more and more parents, and to more youth, that have experienced the trauma associated with these events. A young person's self esteem can be so fragile and easily shattered by cruel remarks from peers, and many school systems don't take it seriously. There seems to be an increase in the amount of physical violence among students, at almost all levels.

If adults don't begin to take this problem seriously, we are going to continue to see a rise in suicides at a young age. We must find a way to reach out to our children and talk to them about these issues. Whether we are parents, teachers, friends, or neighbors, we must all take an active role in teaching our children and youth that they have value, they have worth, and that they matter to us. We must provide a listening ear, a caring shoulder, a loving heart, and a nurturing environment for each and every one of them.

As the mother of a child that is suicidal, I cannot imagine the pain that these families have gone through. This story has brought tears to my eyes, and hurt to my heart. I pray for the families involved to find peace. I pray that my own daughter will be able to overcome her own demons and learn to love herself as she is loved by me.

Thank you, as always, for opening our eyes and our hearts.

[helenhudson]

>>I doubt this is the story you expected when you came here today

No, but sometimes we need to be taken outside our comfort zones. The statistics for suicide are staggering, but to put a face or name on the victim(s) is exactly what we need. That is what is more powerful than those awful numbers. That is what makes us want to pay attention.

[Kristy]

I am from Melbourne and did not expect to be confronted by a local story when I came to your blog.

As a teacher it makes me more determined to remind myself how delicate teenagers are and to make sure bullying doesn't happen to my students at least whilst they are in my care.

I had not heard locally too much about the bullying these girls were subjected to and I think the education department probably tried to keep out of the news (surprising I have to find this out from another country).

I just remember it being a parents worse nightmare to have to live through what the families lived through for that one week of not knowing and what they are still living through.

Thanks for the reminder of how lucky I am and how careful I need to watch my own children.

[Tia]

you're right, not the message I thought I'd see. But a powerful one none the less. Not only does it prod us to listen to the ones we love but it lso should remind us to think about the quiet ones. We all know people who sit alone on the holidays, either by their choice or (an)other's choice. A lonely neighbor, the relative so cranky we all avoid them, a friend who's recently lost their love/their family/their constant animal companion... maybe your message should prod us to give a call or a plate of cookies, issue an invite, ring a doorbell and give up a few moments, make a phone call.... that little gesture can make a huge difference and it's so easy to do.

Happy holidays to all.

[Jim]

Thankyou for reminding us of what is truly important in life through this story.

I remember this story from your initial reports and following it through the years.

My only hope is that these two will have found the peace they so longed for, that their families will be healed of the profound emptiness that has filled their lives, and that their lives will serve as a warning to the rest of us to support everyone around us, even those who we think are okay.

Merry Christmas David. Keep up the great work in the New Year.

[jeff stafford]

I am a father/step father, and I have noticed how bullycide can affect a child. My two step daughters are always at odds with each other with the youngest always trying to bully her sister. She tries tpo bully her brother, but i will not allow thst. i have tried numerous times to punish the youngest step-daughter but her mother will not let the punishment stand. It is not just at school, but at home as well. parents refuse to see the seriousness of the problem for one reason or the other. the bible speaks of the tongue being evil at it is. in the homes when ignorance reins supreme, it seems that the tongue is more evil, than in the homes where love and compassion is shown. i am totally amazed at how people cannot reason the wrong that goes on in their own lives. instead they would rather look and condemn others for their own shortcomings. in my situation it is sad for when i try to make the uncaring care i cannot. me and my son have now left from the situation. i just wonder what the future of those two girls will be. schools and parents wake up and take resposabilities for our children are our future.

[Suzan]

Aw.. That story 'does' belong here. It is such an important subject, I too did one like it on my blog. Where I spoke about Megan Meyer's. I myself was teased, bullied and it has taken many years to overcome the effects that it does to one's self esteem/self image. It is not common however, for 'two' to be taunted, and both seek suicide as the escape..usually a friend 'holds the other up' finding solace in one another. I wonder did one of them have a chemical imbalance, as the one mentioned in her writings.. "could I be bi-polar" Adults do 'need to pay attention' to the 'quote's' of the quiet ones. What a tragic story and my heart goes out to those families for their losses. Thanks for posting this, awareness is the key.

[Michelle]

This article is easily some of your best work, David.

[Brian Charlton]

Suicide is a risk we all face.

[we're all at risk from too much stress

from 2nd Law of Thermodynamics

Professor Stephen Hawking ]

Risk control requires constant monitoring.

[ basic management - common sense ]

The better ( more rationally ) you measure, the better your

risk control.

The above is a summary of a system that I teach

regards

[SOS]

David: Thank you for revisiting this story. As a Survivor of Suicide it is painful to see the stigma which is still attached to suicide. It's articals like this that bring forth awareness. I'm including the web address for the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide which has several prevention initiatives in the works for those interested in supporting.

www.afsp.org

This is sent in memory of our son "Christopher" 1987-2005.

[Connie Klapisz]

We have a son who has been bullied for many years now. Just recently we transferred him to a private school. Before I took out of Middle School I was suppose to speak to the PTA about helping with awareness. I wanted the school to apply for a grant for bully education. I spoke to another school and they were able to easily put a program into place with assistance from the grant, the PTA and a little fund raiser. Now that I removed my son from school, I receive no response from my e-mails, as if it didn't exist. My son has been treated for depression and anxiety. There are many more like him. No one wants to think this happens in their own backyard. It seems to me many of the schools put it on the back burner, only to find they must do something when it is already too late. Currently I am trying to get some exact numbers of bullycide victims to present to different venues to bring more public awareness of this growing problem. If anyone knows where to get this information please post it, so we don't have to continue to read such sad stories like this one about two best friends, who were just starting life.

Connie