One-Armed Man Arrested for Clapping

July 27, 2011

Reblog

 
Sometimes it’s tricky determining whether someone is innocent or guilty, but other times it's just plain obvious. Especially when it involves clapping and missing an arm: it's rather difficult to applaud when you only have one hand to do it with.

That didn’t stop Belarus police from arresting a one-armed man for clapping during a protest. Konstantin Kaplin, an unemployed man from Grodno, was fined $200 for the offense. Kaplin said he was watching the demonstration and trying to film it when he was grabbed by police.

According to Kaplin the judge looked ashamed of herself when she levied the fine. Fining innocent single-limbed people for the most harmless crime imaginable was probably not what she went to law school for.

Seven months ago Belarus police also accused a deaf and mute man for shouting anti-government slogans. Arguably they might just be doing it for the lol of it.

If the man really did clap though, the police should be applauding instead of arresting him.

The Full story

FBI: Criminal Pursuit

On the Case With Paula Zahn

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Lawyer Forces iPhone Down Girlfriend’s Throat

July 26, 2011

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According to the latest research, an iPhone has no nutritional value, so why did the New York patent attorney force-feed his girlfriend an iPhone?

 

Some questions just can’t be answered, but he did it all right. 37-year old Brian Anscomb stuffed the smartphone down his girlfriend’s throat during a quarrel on Saturday in their fancy Upper East Side home.

The 23-year old woman suffered bruises and cuts to her mouth, obviously! Those mobile phones are not as small as they used to be anymore, (but not as big as way back when either, fortunately).

Something about this lawyer and disputes involving phones, on July 10, he allegedly cracked her cellphone in half when she tried to call cops during another spat.

 

Someone needs a new boyfriend...

Whether the iPhone managed to make its way down, we don’t know, nor do we know if AT&T’s service is still good when wrapped in esophagus. We reckon it’d be difficult to talk anyway.

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Learn to be more successful about calling the cops than this lady!

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Man Hands Out Samples of Semen-Tainted Yogurt

July 19, 2011

Reblog

 A New Mexico man was indicted Wednesday after allegedly handing out yogurt samples that were naturally flavored in a rather peculiar way: by his semen.

Anthony Garcia, 32, mixed his own bodily fluids with yogurt and handed it out to unsuspecting customers at a Sunflower Market in Albuquerque in January.

Police came to the store after a woman reported that she was given a yogurt sample she believed contained the kind of live and active cultures that shouldn’t be in a yogurt.

The woman’s exquisitely good taste buds were right. Police found semen in the yogurt and a DNA test pointed out that the protein-enhanced yogurt was linked to him.

Garcia falsely claimed that he didn’t know the spoon he gave to the customers contained semen. The police almost fell for it; sometimes these things just get mixed up, right?

Whether he wanted to provide the consumer with extra vitamin C, just needed a place to leave his swimmers, or received some weird sexual gratification with this act, our sampling days are over.

No thanks sir, no need to try the miracle whip today.

The Full Scoop 

FBI: Criminal Pursuit

On the Case With Paula Zahn

Photo Credit: Thinkstock