“Hey, Is That Bank Robber Me?”

February 25, 2011

Jonathan Blevins called the Tulsa Police Department tip line last Thursday because he recognized the man robbing the bank in a video he saw on the news.

It was him.

However, in an epic case of contorted logic, he claimed he was innocent. Moviegoers might recognize this sort of conundrum from such time travel films as The Butterfly Effect or Time Cop. In those circumstances, it's possible that a person might catch a glimpse of himself performing tasks that will actually be performed in the future.

But that dog won't hunt in Tulsa.

Sgt. Dave Walker said detectives “developed enough information” to arrest Blevins on armed robbery charges. During a search of his residence, detectives found evidence to link Blevins to other robberies from time lines yet to be determined.

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One-Armed Bank Robber Disarmed

February 24, 2011

Would-be Orlando, Florida bank robber Matthew Meguiar was having one of those Mondays.

His simple plan began as he walked into the lobby of Fairwinds Credit Union about 1:45 p.m. and handed the teller a note reading, “This is a robbery, bills in bag.”

Then came the first complication: The teller recognized Meguiar as a regular customer.

Next, it became obvious that the bag filled with cash would not fit through the slot in the teller's cage. Perhaps thinking that the “no harm, no foul” rule of the schoolyards applied to bank robbing, Mr. Meguiar decided to abort the mission, turned around and calmly walked out the door.

But police were already on the scene, and a third glitch in the plan became apparent: He was apprehended immediately, due to the fact that another teller knew Matthew from high school and actually lived in his apartment building about 900 yards from the credit union.

Oh, and then his arm fell off.

As he struggled to avoid arrest, officers were surprised to discover that his prosthetic arm became detached. In classic Joe Friday “just the facts” style, sheriff's spokesman Jeff Williamson simply reported:

“The suspect's arm came off during this arrest.”

Meguiar remained held without bail Tuesday on a charge of attempted robbery.

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Talking Birds Scare Off Home Invaders

February 17, 2011

Everyone knows that guard dogs can be a very effective deterrent to crime perpetrated on the home or business. But in Florida, a flock of talkative birds is making a great case for what you might call the “Parrot Patrol.”

Minerva Bernache says she was at home with her 4-year-old grandson Dillon, when she heard a noise. Two men were trying to get in her front door. Unsuccessful there, they went around to the back of the home and continued trying to get in.

But before she could call 9-1-1, the men suddenly ran away.

What happened?

In an impressive display of parrot power, one watchbird let out an unholy scream (that's his specialty). At the same time his caged colleagues chirped out phrases in English and Spanish. (One of the parrots continually utters a very friendly sounding “Hello,” but that just sounds like a trap to a criminal, right?)

Whatever was said, and we have yet to determine the actual message the parrots conveyed, it was enough to cause the skedaddling of the two men.

The winged heroes will be rewarded with their favorite treat, peanuts. The would-be perpetrators were apprehended and face what we're sure will be good-natured ribbing from fellow prisoners about being scared off by talking birds in a cage.

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