Decision 2012: DOGS WIN! America is Canine Nation!
By: Betty Chu
NEW YORK - America has spoken, or more appropriately, barked out, its preference loud and strong:
By quite a large margin, dogs are America’s favorite pet!
Although considered a slight favorite when balloting began earlier this year, canines were thought to be beatable in categories like “athletic” and “cutest” by many of the leading pet pundits.
But that never happened.
Far from vulnerable in this area, dogs actually captured 65 percent of the Most Athletic category. Election analysts point to the speed and spryness of greyhounds, collies and boxers as far surpassing the “always land on their feet” reputation of felines, which even the most ardent catvocates now deny.
Led by canine stars Jughead, Parker and Bompy, dogs were nominated twice as many times as their traditional rival cats, and five times more often than Independents, which included such varied creatures as rabbits, hamsters, parrots, horses, turtles and pigs.
The results can be seen as nothing less than a crushing blow to cat people across America. “We put a lot of our time and resources into promoting the exotics, like Siamese and Peterbald,” stated a highly placed feline staff member who wished to remain anonymous, “and virtually ignored the good old American Curl and the beloved Calico.”
The Independents, although finishing a disappointing third, succeeded in bringing a new sense of diversity to the ballots. They brought to light a growing pet culture in America, represented by future stars ranging from Abstract the llama to Zuzu the parrot. Their day may be on the horizon.
But the message of Decision 2012 is clear and unmistakable. As it has been since the days of George Washington’s beloved coonhounds, Drunkard and Tipsy, America is, without a doubt, dog country.
And so, in the future … if any animal is going to take the canine crown as America’s Favorite Pet, he or she may find it harder than dislodging a tennis ball from the mouth of a Rottweiler.
You might say that it would take “dogged determination.”